originally published 12/22/16 Circa 1980 something, New Jersey My mother: " So, if everybody else goes crazy does that you mean you go...
originally published 12/22/16
Circa 1980 something, New Jersey
My mother: "So, if everybody else goes crazy does that you mean you go crazy too?"
Me:.... "No?"
(* I swear, I wanted to say ‘yes’, but something told me that was the wrong answer. Perhaps, it was her irritated tone.)
Our conversation was in response to a phone call that my mother received. Our principal's staff had personally called each parent.
That day there was chaos at the elementary school that I attended. It was the year that one of those popular horror movies first came out.
There was a white van in the movie? As a child in elementary school, I was not allowed to watch horror movies. All of my information came from my schoolmates who learned about this looming danger from a horror movie.
As a young kid, horror movies were considered official information!
Now apparently, if you saw "the white van", you should start running. There was a man inside wearing a mask who would certainly kill a child.
In my little mind, this was "the stranger" that my mom warned me not to take candy from. At the time, it seemed that my schoolmates had more information than my mother. They knew exactly what vehicle "the stranger" was driving.
Well, on that ordinary school day, a white van was circling the school while we were at recess.
Some of my schoolmates believed that it was the same white van that was in the movie and oh my goodness!
Children were screaming, running in random directions, falling and running on top of one another. Several of my schoolmates ran banging on the neighbor’s doors seeking “safety”.
Of course, I felt silly later. But that was later.
I hadn’t seen any advertisements for the movie.
I didn’t see the van at school.
I didn’t know why I was afraid.
But the other kids were terrified. So, there I was, screaming, crying, yelling, and running in circles. Just like the rest of the students. You could not have told us that we were not running for our lives. The more that the teachers reached for us and tried, the more we jerked away and cried.
"Run!"
For quite a while, we could not be reasoned with.
Later that day, I was sitting at my desk holding my hands together, rocking back and forth listening to the other kids tell horror stories from the day .....that never even happened.
No one was grabbed.
No one got out of the van.
No one threatened to hurt children in the middle of the night.
But those were the rumors.
We were children. We heard that there was danger. We saw fear on each other's faces. We panicked.
Children. But you grow up and you realize that age doesn't really make an extreme difference in how people respond to fear.
We should be aware of danger.
We should have a plan to meet it head on.
Still, in times of chaos, we tend allow ourselves to inhale the fear of others and really build ourselves into a frenzy.
That isn’t helpful.
Further, it can lead to anxiety for those of us who have been dealt with trauma.
I think all of us can look back on events like that in our lives and see that we have more control over our reaction to fear and stress than we often realize.
Even when threats are real, it is best to use our natural adrenaline to respond to the threat.
The ability to maintain a sense of calm is an acquired skill. Therefore, it can be learned. Luckily, you can teach yourself to handle stress in a manner that minimizes it.
However, the more stressed you feel, the more challenging it can be to relax.
11 Ways you can relax your body and mind when your stress levels are out of control:
1. Take a moment to stretch.
11 Ways you can relax your body and mind when your stress levels are out of control:
1. Take a moment to stretch.
2. Exercise.
If you have more time available, 30 minutes of exercise can work wonders. Avoid limiting yourself to the standard walk or jog. Play a match of tennis or attempt to break your personal bench press record. Resistance bands, bodyweight exercises, yoga, pilates.......
It depends too on whether you’d prefer to exercise alone or with others and make it happen. I'm not a huge fan of the gym but I could be coaxed into a small group class.
Personally, dancing has always worked for me. I love it. The combination of great music and movement works for me. And now, social media and online videos have allowed me access to dancing styles from around the world.
Speaking of videos, I am enjoying returning to 80s & 90s workout videos. Back to a time when I could keep up with the choreo, wore the clothes from the film Flashdance, and personally had fun working out.
3. Listen to music.
Music can be verrrrrry soothing. Choose music that you find relaxing. Some days that is easy listening from the 1970’s. On the other hand, some days, hip hop is my go to for relaxing. I can’t explain it. I just go with what works.
Meditation is simple but challenging. You can learn to focus your thoughts and relieve your tension. Keep your thoughts focused on your breath and return to these thoughts whenever you get distracted.
Some of us find relaxation in being alone, while others feel better with others. Reach out to your friends and family. You can discuss your feelings and the challenges you’re facing.
Go out to dinner or watch a movie. Have a little fun. Exchange stories with the people in your life. Enjoy one another's company.
6. Laugh.
Maybe laughter is the best medicine. Pull out your favorite video or spend the evening at a comedy club. Call your funniest friend for a chat. Read a book of jokes. Find something or someone that will make you laugh.
I go on binges if my mood tips too far. If I'm feeling to sad, angry, or overwhelmed...I binge sitcoms.
Favorites:
Living Single
The Jeffersons
In the House
Martin
Sanford and Son
One on One
The Upshaws
The Ms. Pat Show
The Jamie Foxx Show
Stand-up comedians are great too.
7. Feel gratitude.
It’s easy to forget about all the beautiful things in your life during challenging times. Make a list of all the blessings in your life. Focus on feeling gratitude. By reminding yourself of all the good things, the bad things won’t seem as bad. I know this sounds untrue and "Pollyanaesque" but it is so true.
Survivor Affirmation: I Love Myself because I am Worthy of Love | WE Survive Abuse
Survivor Affirmation: I Am My Own Best Cheerleader | WE Survive Abuse
8. Take a nap.
One of the best ways to reset your nervous system is sleeping. Find a quiet place and lie down for an hour. A nap can be the best stressbuster.
9. Think them happy thoughts.
Be creative and enjoy yourself.
10. Drop the caffeine from your diet.
Caffeine and stress don’t combine well. Give your nervous system a reprieve and avoid caffeinated beverages. Do you really need to be any more stimulated?
11. Close your eyes and listen to the sounds around you.
You could also cover your ears and focus on what you see. Block off one of your senses and focus on your environment. This is an excellent way to be more present. Giving your attention to your surroundings will stop your mind from creating more stress.
Stress is a part of daily life. Learning to manage it makes life more enjoyable.
Stress is a part of daily life. Learning to manage it makes life more enjoyable.
Did you know?
There’s a momentum to stress.
Once your stress reaches an elevated level, it’s far more challenging to reduce. Most stress-reduction techniques provide a small to moderate amount of relief. Use them sooner, rather than later, and prevent a meltdown before it happens.
Note: Fear in the presence of real danger is valid and necessary for survival.
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