The Art of Reflective Thinking in 8 Steps (with infographic)

I saw a woman share her very personal relationship story in a video this week. There was a lot of discussion about whether she "should ...

I saw a woman share her very personal relationship story in a video this week.

There was a lot of discussion about whether she "should have known better" at her age.

Exchanging love is a risky and too often dangerous, thing in this life.  We human beings are not known to be forgiving of the mistakes of others. 

Hey, the mistakes of others hurt us deeply sometimes and cause chaos, damage, and destruction. So as a human being, I must process that, and I must deal with that. Sometimes, I must get back with you on that 'forgiveness' .....thing after I heal. 

But, when we do not forgive ourselves, we may continue to punish ourselves by choosing another hurtful person, abusing substances, neglecting our health, neglecting our healing, neglecting our growth and personal development, neglecting our grooming, choosing fast food love, and choosing hate. 

To grow wiser, you must be kind and forgiving to yourself. 

Each and every time...  Learn from your mistakes and forgive yourself. 

Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."-Maya Angelou

30 Days of Self-Compassion for Stress-Relief (ebook) | WE Survive Abuse

Life is an incredible journey filled with ups and downs, triumphs and failures. 

Failure. We human beings are mostly afraid of failure. But what if I told you that there is a way to learn from your mistakes and repeat your successes, ultimately maximizing your progress and creating a more fulfilling life? 

Mistakes have value: you can learn from them.

Reflective Thinking
Reflective thinking is the art of 

• observing our experiences 
• evaluating their outcomes 
• and critically analyzing the causes behind them. 

By Living our lives with this degree of intentional awareness, we can; 

• identify patterns
• learn from past mistakes 
• and replicate our victories. 

1. Embrace the Power of Evaluation:
Every day presents us with opportunities for growth. For yet another win.

At the end of each day, take a moment to reflect on both the positive and negative experiences you encountered. Celebrate the wins and courageously acknowledge the challenges.

2. Unveil the Root Causes:
Interrogate circumstances surrounding your outcomes. Ask yourself why certain events unfolded as they did. Was there something within your control that contributed to the positive or negative result?

3. Lessons as Catalysts for Change:
Once you have identified the causes, use this newfound knowledge to your advantage. Determine how you can avoid negative outcomes and foster positive ones. Cultivate solutions and strategies that will empower you on your path forward.

4. Crafting Your Action Plan:
Transform your insights into actionable steps. From committing to beating procrastination to adopting mindful habits, design a comprehensive plan that transforms your intentions into tangible achievements.

5. Visualization: Manifesting Your Desired Future:
Harness the power of visualization by envisioning yourself embodying the changes you wish to make. See yourself succeeding. See yourself living the outcome that you want. Embrace the positive impact this will have on your life.

6. Facing the Consequences:
Acknowledge the potential consequences of not following through with your desired changes. By embracing the seriousness of the situation, you motivate yourself to persevere and avoid the pain of staying stagnant and loitering in your comfort zone. 

7. Overcoming Resistance:
Change can be challenging.  Resistance may arise. Fear may appear too. But avoid letting resistance and fear to overthrow your entire strategy.

Monitor your thoughts and feelings, letting go of negativity and embracing the courage to evolve. Keep turning to real-life inspirations who have conquered obstacles and emerged stronger. 

8. Monitoring and Adjusting:
As you embark on your transformational journey, remember that habits take time to solidify. They take time to set. Be patient with yourself and extend yourself grace. Change is hard. That's why so many people try to avoid it. 

Monitor your progress, 

Stay committed to your plan.

Make necessary adjustments along the way. 

Celebrate milestones achieved.

Embrace continuous improvement.

You got this!

Reflective Thinking Music 

(some of my favorites)

A Change is Gonna Come by Sam Cooke

Up Where We Belong by Jennifer Warnes and Joe Cocker

He Saw the Best in Me by Marvin Sapp

Ex Factor by Lauryn Hill 

Better Days by Dianne Reeves 

Nothing Compares 2 U by Sinead O'Connor/or Prince and Rosie Gaines

Fire and Rain by James Taylor

Stand by Donnie McClurkin

Hate on Me by Jill Scott

You've Got a Friend by Carole King

Celebrate Me Home by Kenny Loggins

What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong

Memories by Gladys Knight

There's a Winner in You by Patti Labelle

Motherless Child by Sweet Honey in the Rock

Let It Be by The Beatles

Ain't No Mountain High Enough by Diana Ross

A Rose is Still a Rose by Aretha Franklin

One More Try by George Michael

Be Optimistic by The Sounds of Blackness

As by Stevie Wonder

Never Would've Made It by Marvin Sapp

Stay Gold by Stevie Wonder

Cats in the Cradle by Harry Chapin

Candle in the Wind by Elton John

Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen

Yesterday by The Beatles

Yesterday by Mary Mary

I Need You Now by Snorkie Norful

The Message by Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five

On & On by Erykah Badu

Sitting on the Dock of the Bay by Otis Redding

California Dreamin by The Mamas and The Papas/Queen Latifah

Joy to the World by Whitney Houston

Make It Happen by Mariah Carey

This is It by Kenny Loggins

Go Get It by Mary Mary

Song by Langston Hughes | WE Survive Abuse

Those are some of mine. What are yours? 

Survivors of Abuse and Baggage Handling | WE Survive Abuse

What Songs Have Helped You When You Needed Comfort or Healing? | WE Survive Abuse

Surviving Abuse Daily: Musical Empowerment for Women | WE Survive Abuse

I Will Survive: How Survivor Gloria Gaynor Keeps Inspiring Decades After the Release of Grammy Winning Song | WE Survive Abuse

Flowers to Tina Turner: Remembering the Queens of Music Who Amplify Women's Voices | WE Survive Abuse