Porn in School Age Libraries is Just Wrong Part 2

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Porn in School Age Libraries is Just Wrong Part 1 | WE Survive Abuse I support consenting adults engaging in pleasurable activities that do ...

Porn in School Age Libraries is Just Wrong Part 1 | WE Survive Abuse


I support consenting adults engaging in pleasurable activities that do not bring harm to others. That said......

"I'm concerned that we are moving away from teaching children to solve mathematical solutions, health solutions and social solutions; and towards teaching children to solve male struggles with being perpetually randy."

- Tonya GJ Prince

Part 2

American schools are creating hostile learning environments in our schools that would be unacceptable in adult workplaces. 


Some adults demand a trigger warning or content warning. 

Listen, the rating system was made for members of my generation, GenX. Parent groups and leaders like Tipper Gore, and C. Delores Tucker insisted that hip-hop music and sub-genres of rock needed at least a ratings label. 


And the movies too.  High-jinx films like Porky's were popular among teens looked like they were only about high-school antics but they were a little more grown-up and sexually suggestive than that.  That was new for that era and parents demanded a clear and concise rating system. 



Hostile Learning Environment

Here, I was that child suffering abuse in silence for years and it occurs to me that had I been that a child exposed to that reading in school, it would have shattered me.

I would have felt that there was no place to escape sex. No place to escape instruction and expectation to pleasure and satisfy adults.  No place on this earth to escape instruction and expectation to pleasure males. 

You want to talk about suicide risk? That's it.

As it is, I was on the edge of choosing death in my teen years. "There had to be a way to escape the unbearable pain."


Abused Children

And speaking of life being unfair, in all of this talk about books we aren't having enough conversations around how this impacts abused and neglected children. 



Survival

I survived. Many of us who survived, survived because we were blessed to see that there is so much more to life than pain, suffering, disappointment, and being someone's puppet. 

In this life, sex is not a requirement. Knowing how to "please or satisfy" a loving partner can wait. But joy, laughter, smiles, hobbies, music, art, social connection, and spiritual connection are life!

I still can't believe that we took out art, PE, free books, music, and wedged in sex, sex, sex. These kids are going to grow up to be miserable. 



But back to today.....

I was sitting there listening to Robby and could not stop thinking about the little girls being abused in their home. The Black and brown girls who are at risk of going through the abuse-to-prison pipeline because they are justifiably "angry" and don't seem "sad" enough to others.

  • The boys who can't tell anyone what is going on because people will call them "weird". And being thought of as different terrifies kids. 
  • The boys who can't tell anyone their adult female teachers or babysitters are abusing them because people will think something is wrong with them. 
  • The girls going through puberty so some people sexualize them and give them unwanted attention. That girl has to sit and watch the boys act lewd about the book and remain terrified that the boys and men will continue to make advances at her. And since it is being sanctioned by teachers and read about in schools, no one will listen. She's a "prude", "stuck up" or "religious".

Children have so much time to think about sex...when they grow up and become adults. There is no rush.  

There is a time limit on childhood. Childhood ends and there is no return. That's what is so special about it. Childhood is about innocence, wonder, internal self-discovery AND protecting as much of that as we can. 



Sex


Growing up means unlearning the images you were sneaking to discover as a kid. The magazines "hidden" under an adult's bed. Books that were beyond your understanding.

Growing up, and maturing, means discovering that genuine intimacy isn't about performance. Intimacy is about knowing yourself, loving yourself, loving others, empathy, compassion, gratitude, joy, being in the moment, wonder, discovery, and nature. 

Let's build beautiful human beings. Let's build healthy human beings. Let's go back to centering the needs of children in schools again. 


"I'm concerned that we are moving away from teaching children to solve mathematical solutions, health solutions and social solutions; and towards teaching children to solve male struggles with being perpetually randy."


- Tonya GJ Prince

What Kinds of Behaviors Are Considered Sexual Harassment?




Sidebar.........

VC Andrews

As a member of the GenX crew, I absolutely read books by author VC Andrews.  Some may wonder what the difference is.  They both talk about sex.

Author VC Andrews was a great author who happened to be disabled.  The themes in her books were often around incest and other child suffering of some sort.

The difference between the books we have concerns 

about today and VC Andrews are:


1. I knew that I was sneaking to read those books. Those covers fooled my mom, Aunties, and Grans good. I got those books from the public library or through my book exchange connections at school. 

I knew that what I was reading was not morally acceptable. Incest was wrong. Molestation was wrong. 

The books actually validated that small voice inside of me that told me that what was happening to me was wrong. No one had a right to treat me the way some of the girls were treated.  In fact, I stopped reading the series at a certain point because although the main female character escaped to freedom, she was still stuck with her family members.

What kind of freedom is that?  Even as a teen, I was very sure that God did make more men than just the ones in her family. 

I received the same message from that that I received from reading books on racism or sexism. The books made it very clear that these things were wrong and I did not have to suffer. I could hope for more in my life. 

Reading those books, had they been supported by my teachers, my school, and the adults around me- might well have just further embedded the message that the violators in my life were trying to push onto me. I was born to please and satisfy males. 

And that was a whole lie. 


2. VC Andrews' books did not fall into the category of being a child tutorial for pleasuring others sexually. (I hope that sounds extremely vile and gross to you.) 

Now, as soon as we say this, I expect people to develop books where the child sex aspect is more subtle and reads less like a tutorial. Manipulators and predators are roach-like. They will find a crack in the wall to crawl in through.


 


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WE Survive Abuse : Porn in School Age Libraries is Just Wrong Part 2
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