During my freshman year in college, I thought my hippie-like sociology teacher & me would be cool. I love sociology & writing. Thi...
During my freshman year in college, I thought my hippie-like sociology teacher & me would be cool. I love sociology & writing. This was gone be good.
She thought.
Plot twist: He LOVED teachings from "The Bell Curve" (a book) & taught THE Most Racist Stuff I ever heard in life.
Like it was God's truth.
It was a small college.
So, no other good options for transportation, there were schedule limits...and I was funded by grants.
Sink or swim, kid.
I finished with an A!
But I ALWAYS hit the library and talked about these specific topics with elders to learn truth.
For example, when my professor taught that "Black ppl know nothing about marriage because we just jumped the broom on plantations and even then didn't stay together".
At the time, I was 18. Marriage wasn't even a thought to me. This was not something I hadn't pondered. I wasn't even curious.
I listened, learned, and researched the facts. (Research is my jam!)
I sought out Black scholars and publications specifically. Conservative and liberal viewpoints were fine, racism was not.
When I learned what seemed to be most likely to be the truth given how things lined up with the times, patterns in other cultures and communities around the world, -laws & practices, as well as census records....the truth revealed itself.
Keep in mind, The Bell Curve (a book) was EXTREMELY controversial around that time. There were a lot of responses from Black writers and publications to choose from.
I never repeated that crap. I never believed it. And I permanently refused it access to my soul.
Now, when asked on tests, I provided the answers the tenured professor was looking for.
I write fast, so I also had time to add a viewpoint with citations. Sometimes it was rejected but not enough to lose full credit or my dignity.
When asked on tests, I gave the answers he was looking for. I write fast, so I also had time to add a viewpoint with citations. Sometimes it was rejected but, not enough to lose full credit or my dignity.
(I don't play about my self-worth.)
Lesson........
"Black women are called men so....."
Don't you *ever* in your life believe some idiot's opinion about YOU!
When women come to domestic violence advocates, they often come having been told a lot of garbage.
Women:
When women come domestic violence advocates they come having been told a lot of garbage.
"You're ugly"
"You're stupid"
"you're dumb"
"Don't nobody want you but me."
"You're lucky I want you."
"Women are idiots"
"Women are crazy"
"All women stink"
"Women are (insert slurs)"
In my nearly 30 yrs serving dv Survivors I've never met ONE who didn't endure slurs & insults from her partner. Misogyny is a pillar post of violence and abuse. Standard.
If a woman came to you saying: "I ain't ish cause he said I ain't, would you say....girl you right. I can't help you?
"He's right, you don't deserve to be safe."
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Then why would you repeat hate to Black women & declare us ineligible for being concerned for our safety & equality?
When it comes to domestic violence, whether a woman decides to stay or not is a choice she must make for herself and her family.
But, I don't ever like anyone to part with me without at least questioning the lies that they have been told. She must do what is safe for her but she does not have to believe those idiotic misogynistic lies!
This often allowed her to heal at least some parts of herself and her life. It allowed her to begin the process of growing stronger.
...Sometimes allowing herself to believe that she could accomplish more in her life.
Finally
Whatever hateful opinions you have heard about your faith, looks, body, race, background, or culture are opinions- not facts.
Allowing it to invade, infest, infect, & corrode your soul...that's your independent choice.
You may have had to learn some lies by heart for a grade, a paycheck or everyday survival.....still, whether or not to believe it is your choice.
You don't have to hold yourself or anyone else to them like they are some sort of 'life commandment'. You deserve to appreciate all of you. ✨
Don't hate yourself.
🟥P.S.....Please avoid publicly admitting that you allow hateful people to dictate your self-worth and how you perceive yourself and others. Please. What you feel about yourself & others is likely temporary but could have lifelong consequences.
I want you to understand...this experience hurt. I cried. I wanted to quit. I was encouraged by older family members, older neighbors, older friends of the family. Most of the them stories of similar hurtful experiences that by now they had spun into funny stories. That helped a lot!
It still hurt like hell. That experience and others hurt me deep. I never got a degree from that school. I took a several years long break from school. Eventually, I went to a community college and then to Bluefield College (now University) where I earned a bachelor's degree.
There is wonderful and effective therapy available. My suggestion would be cognitive behavioral therapy but whatever therapy works for you is what is best.
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