How Perseverance Can Take You Directly to Your Passion and Purpose

Not my son J, but handsome young man. So, I’m on the sidelines of a high school lacrosse game.  The only parent looking like she was going t...

Not my son J, but handsome young man.

So, I’m on the sidelines of a high school lacrosse game.

 The only parent looking like she was going to an evening PTA meeting by the way.  Wearing a catalog model's blouse with matchy-matchy slacks. All that was missing was the pearls.  

Arms distance away from me was the coach from the opposing team needed either a hug or the natural supplements from the health food store I carry in my purse.

His little team must not have been doing what he wanted because all of a sudden that really tall man fell to his feet and started clawing the dirt beneath him.

"Okay Tonya, now what is this here?” 

I glanced around slowly to see if others are stunned, concerned, calling for backup, medical assistance, something.

 Nope, this is normal.    

I couldn’t believe it. My son played us.

A little history. 

My son J survived a lot of major medical stuff throughout childhood.

But he was like a lot of other boys.

He wanted to play sports.

 I don’t like sports anyway. But sports and medical issues don’t mix. At the same time, you don’t want your kids to feel limited either.

So all I hear from J is, "Okay, since I’m not different can I try out for the for the football team? Softball? How about wrestling?"

It went like this:

Football? Age 4-15

J: Came up with a plan. Tries to sell his plan to his parents.

PLAN: Train hard. Learn the game. Keep his grades up. Continue to Excel in math & science.

Husband: Listens intently. Nods. Verdict: "Uh, no. I think that that is just too dangerous."

Me/Mom: "No. My baby might get hurt."

Softball? Middle school 

J: (see football.)

Husband: (see football.)

Me: Well, after much debate, I let him try out. 

Rave reviews from coaches, but just didn’t make the final cut.

Wrestling? Sophomore in high school 

J: (see football)

Husband: (see football.)

Me: "Well, let’s talk to the doctor." Stall tactic. Stall tactic unsuccessful.

He made the team.  He impressed the coach and the team. In the end, he was the one who wasn’t impressed. So he concentrated on other activities.

Lacrosse? Jr & Sr Yr. High School

J: (see football) 

Addendum to the PLAN: Talks up cultural history (the sport of lacrosse began with Native Americans), scholarship opportunities, “will look great on college applications”. The magic words. Open sesame.

Husband: (see football.)

Me: Lacrosse? That is a nice sounding name. Well, what is it?

The way that my son explained it, it was like golf. I interpreted the sport as “golf with running.”

They have that somewhere.  Right?

Looking back, I think I was just battle fatigued. Delay tactics. Bribing. Attempts at refocusing. I was tired.

This boy’s perseverance was draining me. So even though we paid for the pads and protective head gear I was stunned, stunned I tell you when I arrive at the game.

The kids are out there playing and I mean you can hear those hits.

The other parents look like they came to see somebody “rumble”, or…..

I am not even going to front. I don’t even have the language for you all.  I am not a fan of going to see physical conflicts and battles for entertainment purposes. 

The crowd looked ready for whatever. That’s all I got.

Who won?

I don’t remember who won. From the look on my son’s face, he did. 

My son said, “Mom lacrosse originated with Native Americans.

They played in the woods. We aren’t even playing it the way that they played it. You think they used helmets and pads?”  

Then he laughed. I think that laugh was at me. I know he did.

My son grew his circle of friends.  He became one of the leaders on the team.  He has plans to continue coaching Lacrosse.  

It has helped him to discover what he wants to do in life. 

He is currently in college studying to be a sports coach and sports psychologist. 

You know I just couldn’t go to any more games.  Once you’ve been focused on keeping your child’s medical needs in such a way, I can’t tell you how difficult everyday things like contact physical sports become for you. 

I can't watch people hit my baby once we have put parts of him together like a puzzle piece at times.

But my brother did. 

He went almost every home game.  He reported back how motivating, well loved, inspiring, respected he still is amongst his teammates.

 Lessons:

1. Lacrosse is not “golf with running”.

2. Positive perseverance is a worthwhile investment you make in yourself.

Like a lot of young boys my son has wanted to play sports since the age of four. There were disappointments. 

There were moments of discouragement. 

There were setbacks.

Positive perseverance always pays off.

 Even though you may not end up where you thought that you would, you will likely end up somewhere highly desirable.