RED FLAG ALERT: People Who Need Coercive Dating Pushers

Welcome to your life There's no turning back Even while we sleep We will find you [Chorus] Acting on your best behavior Turn your back o...

Welcome to your life

There's no turning back

Even while we sleep

We will find you

[Chorus]

Acting on your best behavior

Turn your back on Mother Nature

Everybody wants to rule the world

Everybody Wants to Rule the World

Tears for Fears

Good products practically sell themselves. 

Good people do not need to chastise or coerce others into dating them. If you've ever been in sales you know this.

Either You Have What I Need or You Don't

“Sales is not about convincing 

anybody of anything. 

It’s about helping people 

solve problems or achieve goals.”

— John Barrows, CEO, JB Sales

I I used to be in sales. For a short season, I sold wedding dresses to women who needed a great dress for their wedding day.  This sales gig was pretty easy for me. 

The store happened to be located near a military base so we would get a lot of women coming in planning weddings on short notice.  Most of the time, we were successful at making that happen.

Reasons:

•  The gowns were gorgeous and well-made
•  Reliable store-to-store delivery was available but we were willing to drive to another store to get gowns if necessary
• Our selection was diverse in size, style, and budget.
• Our in-house tailor was like a magician with needle and thread. 
• The staff did not judge your situation.  Women come in with some life stories and situations that they would prefer that you keep confidential. We did. 
• Ex: "We're getting married the weekend after his divorce is final so  please don't leave messages about where you are calling from."

It wasn't extremely difficult to sell great wedding gowns to women planning weddings. 

My future sales jobs were more challenging. Fewer benefits by comparison. 

So dating....

People seeking to connect with other people to date or just  want to date will connect with other people who offer:

• Fun
• Safety
• Joy
• Good times
• Low drama
• Companionship
• New knowledge
• Clean surroundings and bodies
• Shared interests, hobbies, values, and beliefs

There has to be a BENEFIT to dating an individual. 

As someone online put it, "dating is not charity."   It is an exchange of good things.  Both people should get something great from it. 

These "Date Him or Else" campaigns that keep popping up online are weird, strange, and coercive.  In most parts of the West, women do not have to date any individual for ANY reason.  

Women in the rest of the world are looking to us to not only hold the line but strengthen and secure it. 

When I talk with women and girls about this, a woman will often ask me how I would feel if a white man didn't date me because I am Black. 

I don't give that much thought.  

I'm far too engaged with my priorities, health, goals, loved ones, passions, hobbies, responsibilities, wants, and needs to be engrossed in someone else's.  

And, there is joy in this life I'm living. 

Besides, it is extremely odd, pimpy, and rapey to keep bothering women and girls about who they include or do not include in their dating pool.  If someone needs marketing and promotion to get dates, I would consider that a RED FLAG. 

The whole thing is gross and invasive.  Get your own life and keep it healthy and filled with joy, meaning, and love.

Stay away from people who push people on others, They are dangerous individuals. 

Growth and comfort do not coexist. 

-Ginni Rometty

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