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How Weaponized Incompetence Drives Women To Take on More Household Chores

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  Back in the day, I fell for this hard!  Weaponized incompetence is sometimes called "strategic incompetence."  This is a term us...

 
Back in the day, I fell for this hard! 

Weaponized incompetence is sometimes called "strategic incompetence."  This is a term used in popular psychology to explain feigned incompetence to perform a task where the mission is to get someone else to do the task.


This strategy works. Especially when you are in love with someone. I once had a boyfriend who pretended to be unable to perform a whole lot of household chores around the house.  Practically all of them.

As I write this, I can't think of a single household chore that he performed regularly.  Still, I allowed others to blame me and me alone when the house was messy.  Like he did not live there too. 


Washing dishes was a big one. He was awful at it. I even felt proud that I was better at doing dishes than he was. I joked about it. He joked about it. We joked about it together in public.   

All of this would have stayed funny if the relationship weren't so unbalanced.  


It might have kept being funny if only I hadn't realized that letting him play me for stupid was really causing me to lean into it.  

On my end, I was ignoring my strengths and intelligence to make it all work. To accept that mess, sometimes you find yourself fooling yourself in other areas too. 
I had to play a fool to make it all work ....until I couldn't do it any longer. 

Reading the brief stories in the articles below reminded me of a time when I was less honest with myself. The women sharing their stories are aware of what's going on. Back then, I would not allow myself to go to that level of awareness.  I was afraid of what that might mean. 
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WE Survive Abuse : How Weaponized Incompetence Drives Women To Take on More Household Chores
How Weaponized Incompetence Drives Women To Take on More Household Chores
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