“She doesn’t believe that people in the church would do that.” “He thinks only people who go to church do that.” “How will I convince her th...

“She doesn’t believe that people in the church would do that.”

“He thinks only people who go to church do that.”

“How will I convince her that a minister would do these things? She’ll never believe me against a minister.  I just want to die.”

“My grandmother said I was just trying to bring another Black man down and I better stop lying on her son.”

"That doesn't happen to people like us."

"Not in this family."

Please Stop Building These Sacred Calves in Child Abuse

Every community has its sacred calf. 

A sacred calf refers to an object, idea, or concept that is considered important or even holy by a group of people. 

It often involves a belief that such an object or idea is worthy of protection and reverence, and any attempt to challenge or criticize it is met with outrage or resistance.  

In modern times, the term "sacred calf" can be used figuratively to describe any cherished beliefs or traditions of a group that are fiercely guarded and resistant to change or criticism.

Never wrong!

Knowingly or unknowingly, using #notadragqueen goes towards building up a sacred calf. People who defend this may think that they are proving something to adults. Maybe. Maybe not. 

When you join in on #notadragqueen, you declare your support for yet another adult male sacred calf.  This is just the latest to hit the societal shelves. 

How many more male sacred calves do we need?

But what about the children?

What about the innocent child who remains innocent of these adult biases and prejudices and just wants the violence against them to stop?  

The child who doesn’t care whether the person harming them is gay, straight, bisexual, democrat, republican, independent, or any other identity?  

They just want the violence to end!

I’ve worked with those children. 

I’ve taken crisis calls from those children. 

I’ve sat in court and watched screaming and irate family members be removed from courtrooms.

I’ve worked with these Survivors and heard their stories. 

We’ve spent too much time strategizing how to help children get around adults’ misguided beliefs about “who” harms children.

“She doesn’t believe that people in the church would do that.”

“He thinks only people who go to church do that.”

“How will I convince her that a minister would do these things? She’ll never believe me against a minister.  I just want to die.”

“My grandmother said I was just trying to bring another Black man down and I better stop lying on her son.”

Time that should have been gone towards healing and self-care had to go towards coddling, hand-holding, and educating adults. Children.

(Even as I'm writing this, I had to stop, put my face in my hands, and take a moment.)

We do not need any more women painstakingly building and polishing male sacred calves when it comes to violence and abuse, especially for males who are not even their sons. 

WE are saturated with male sacred calves in every community.

Defend children. Please, amplify their voices. Please make it easier for their truth to be heard and not harder.