Did I tell y’all about that time that they printed a speech I delivered in public in the paper?
I bring this up because of this story that is in the news–>>
A Retired Virginia Army Colonel sues a woman who accused him of rapeIt seems that he has legal issues with the fact that she named him in her blog. He says that this caused him to lose out on a promotion in the military. This may have big implications for Survivors. Do we have the right to name people who have abused/raped us if they have not been convicted in a court of law?
I say, as long as the truth is on the side of the victim/Survivor, yes.
But I once struggled with this question myself.
It was the month of October 2000 (could have been 2001).
I had left the organization that I was working for to work for another organization closer to home. But my former organization asked me to give the speech for the October Awareness Month event.
You t
alking about honored?
Except this would be my own personal story.
I struggled to write it.
Knowing what I know now, it was a wise decision. Justice isn’t always acquired through systems.
I am highly grateful.
Even though, at the age of 13, I told my family two of the persons who violated me, I still never named those rapists to anyone else other than therapists.
Even still, the attitudes of our society, the structures that reinforce a victim’s silence, and the intense psychological terror can have nearly identical results.
I was an advocate for goodness sakes and part of me was still keeping that &%$#@@’s name a secret!
I pumped up some hip hop music on my radio. Just put it on repeat. Petey Pablo actually. I don’t even know the words to that song. Still couldn’t tell you today. Yet they accurately and articulately summed up what I was feeling.
Plus, I just needed to be in beast mode. I needed to shake off the bundle of emotions. I would deal with those later. Duty was on the other line.
I named my stepfather because I decided that it wasn’t my secret to keep. I realized that it never was. He deceived a young, beautiful, and, vulnerable girl into believing that it was.
“Women and men of all hues generating solutions to both domestic violence and sexual violence.”
–Tonya GJ Prince has been a leading subject matter expert (SME) in domestic violence and sexual violence.
For over 25 years she has helped people heal, prevent, and overcome domestic and sexual violence.
In order to accomplish this mission, she founded several diverse & inclusive platforms designed to allow Survivors to use their own voices including;
WESurviveAbuse.com, SurvivorAffirmations.com, & BraidtheLadder.org.
Tonya is an author, activist, advocate, Survivor, speaker, counselor, & mentor.
B.S. Organizational Management & Development/Bluefield College
Booking Information:
Email: info (at) wesurviveabuse.com
Google Voice: (720)-593-9462
www.TonyaGJPrince.com- BraidtheLadder.org -SurvivorAffirmations.com
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