Yes, I was reliving my pregnancy through her.
She didn’t mind.
We stared at the sonogram pictures trying to figure out which family members this little princess looked like.
Not when she isn’t pregnant.
Not when she is sleepy. Not ever.
Here is what y’all need to know….
Morgan is a Survivor.
Morgan never talks about it.
Never, ever, ever, ever, never.
Some wouldn’t do this for Oprah’s money.
So back to my Pregnant Relative…
I know that something disturbing happened to her. But she doesn’t deal with it out in the open the way that I do.
No blog, speeches, and definitely not on social media.
We don’t mention it in front of her close friends because no matter how close they are I assume that she has not told them.
As we continued our conversation that day, Morgan revealed that she hadn’t told a single person.
Morgan had always been private that way.
The panic attacks began when she found out that she was pregnant.
Her doctor wanted to prescribe an anti-depressant. If you knew Morgan you knew she doesn’t take medications.
I got it.
She doesn’t want to feel less in control at this time.
She stopped sobbing.
She had answers. Okay. We came up with a few remedies.
Morgan took the lead.
In spite of how her mother may come off to others, Morgan’s mother has always been her barrier if Morgan is triggered.
Now Morgan is quite assertive in her own right. However, when she is triggered, she can begin to feel less like herself. Just the thought of this possibility was causing Morgan anxiety.
She no longer needs to feel the need to live in shame.
CAUTION: Handle this one with care.
If you have a family member who is an advocate for you, you might consider having them there. Just because a person is a medical health professional does not mean that they will be sensitive and empathetic to the needs of sexual violence Survivors.
Medical health professionals are people.
People can be tactless, lack knowledge, training, understanding, empathy and wisdom.
Unfortunately, these things can further damage a Survivor in the the process of healing.
I am so Morgan and all of the Survivors everywhere who allow tiny little miracles to take up residence in their precious bodies. It isn’t easy for any woman.
It certainly isn’t easy for any woman whose body has unfortunately been the scene of a crime.
Oh, the possibilities.
Y’all feel free to chime in about those possibilities! Suggestion? Stories? Ideas?