IF we didn’t already know, we have juries, judges, colleges & universities, law enforcement, houses of faith, and family members to tell us.
Societies don’t believe in a female and/or child’s right to set and enforce boundaries and consent. But we knew that already.
Sexual violence is one of the few crimes (along with domestic violence) where the victim is put on the witness stand and harshly cross-examined by the court of public opinion. Victims who allege a sexual violation, trespassing of boundaries, and denial of consent are treated as pests. How dare any female or child disturb society’s peace by speaking up for the safety and healing needs of themselves or others.
So the reaction to the Wi Spa video came as no surprise. This is a repeat.
But here’s what we learned, and here’s what was confirmed.
- Not all people who identify as feminists believe in a female’s right to set and enforce boundaries, privacy, & consent.
- As simple as it seems, people still do not understand that females have an absolute right to say, “no”.
- Too many people do not understand “flashing” and “exposure”. They also fail to understand how that plays out very differently for Black males, males with disabilities, and males who have less access to financial resources.
- There are people who believe that children should just get over seeing nude adults of the opposite sex. They are also willing to says so in public.
- People will fight for their alleged “right” to expose women and girls to their male body parts.
- Not everyone understands how consent work.
- Not everyone cares how consent works.
- People know damn well why victims do not come forward and they don’t care enough to change.
- Too many people do not respect women and they are willing to announce it to the whole world..
- Too many people do not understand it is hard enough for Black women to get community, family, and/or systemic assistance, and that nothing that occurred at Wi Spa makes that any easier for Black women.
- As much as people criticize religious groups for their views on the role of women and girls; people from other sides of the fence still think that the purpose of women and girls is to make men feel comfortable. They are willing to state as much in public.
- As much as people criticize religious groups for their views on the role of women and girls; Too many people still think that the purpose of women and girls is to validate the feelings of men. They are more than willing to go on record and state as much in public.
- No matter how many times it is repeated, I have some real doubts that society “sees Black women as “males”.” The people asserting this claim have their own reasons for making this claim and I’m not sure such people have anything more to offer than their own opinion on the issue. More multi-disciplanary agreement has been found around the following:
Society sees Black women as not in need of and or not worthy of protection.
Society views Black women as not being as vulnerable as white women.
Society views Black women as being more hypersexual than white women.
Society views Black women as being more “adult” at an earlier age than white women.
During both online and offline discussions around this video, it was further confirmed that a concerning number of white women feminists will gladly rise to any occasion to come against a Black woman in need of safety, protection, and justice with a vengeance.
Some white women feminists would rather speak openly in favor of a male’s “right” to expose his male member to women and children than come alongside a Black woman expressing outrage at such an act.
But, we knew that too.
What was learned continued……..
- Too many people from all sides of the political fence still think that it is more important for women and girls to seem nice than it is for women and girls to be respected.
- In fact, people still seem to be extremely confused about “why” they must be respectful to women that they do not find attractive or do not wish to have sexual relations with.
- Too many people honestly believe that women are clueless about their own anatomy and male anatomy.
- Too many people continue to be far more suspicious the “motives” of victims and accusers than the actions of abusers and boundary violators.
- Even some other women who have been open about being Survivors of violence and abuse are extremely skeptical of other women who allege violation.
- Too many people believe that if one prioritizes the rights of women and girls, surely, they must be a republican. (That can’t be good news for Dems)
- Donald Trump was effective at one thing if nothing else: DEFUNDING and de-prioritizing the safety needs of women and girls.
- We need more social workers, human service, and mental health workers. How a society treats the most vulnerable populations says so much about the health of that society. (We need to pay them well.)
- There needs to be a lot more teaching, awareness raising, and legal protections around victims/Survivors of abuse and violence.
We knew. We knew. We already knew.
Also confirmed, even with video tape, bystander support, and validation; a Black woman wouldn’t be believed and supported by all “women.”
So may we keep working and keep defeating any and all that come against the safety, protection, and well-being of women and children.