The Problem with Scapegoating Women and Children


Scapegoating:   blaming the wrongdoings, mistakes, or faults of a group or individual, on an unrelated and unconnected group,/ individual; especially for reasons of expediency. (help from Oxford Dictionary)

From the video below…..

Scapegoats are needed to maintain the status quo of the dysfunction……

if you have the scapegoat then it keeps everyone else’s dysfunctional role in place

and, they don’t have to deal with the real problems.

-Jerry Wise


After relationship abuse-

“If you didn’t make me so crazy, I wouldn’t hit you.” /// “If you didn’t make me so crazy, you wouldn’t get hit.”

“If you would do what I say, I wouldn’t have to go off like this.”

“You make me do this to you.”

“Do you see what happens when you don’t do what I say?”

“You see what you make me do?”

After deadly incel terrorism-

“Women should be more accommodating to all males”

“Feminism has led to young boys feeling unwanted. An easy solution would be to ensure that no man between 18-15 is single, make sure that women available are given to these men.” -Actual quote on Twitter by Dr (withholding the name).

“Feminism is what is causing men to feel unwanted, unloved, and unsuccessful.

“The girls in school didn’t like him and wouldn’t date him.”

After deadly violence against trans women-

“It was because women/people teased him for being with a trans person”

“It was because people shamed him for being with a trans person”

“This is what misgendering causes”

After deadly violence against a female partner

“It was because the bills were piling up.”

“It was because she was with another man.”

“It was because she spent his money and he could see no other way out.”

“It was because she told him she was leaving him.”


How do we reach a solution if the murderer is never held accountable for their crimes?  

For all of the trans women who were murdered have we truly learned any lessons about what exactly was behind the true decision to put so little value on another human being’s life and murder them? What made the murderer choose murder as opposed to say, running off to live a more secluded life with their love?  Why murder? Had there been violence in the relationship before?

If a partner of a trans person felt shame then why not leave the relationship? Why murder someone knowing that now the entire world is going to know your name, see your mugshot, and learn everything there is to know about you through public records and cellmates?

Added to that: It isn’t socially acceptable for males to rape young children, even in prison. And yet, we know that what society thinks about the crime, hasn’t been a deterrent from sexual violation of young children.

What made a partner decide that his female partner was better off dead than being with someone else? How can we identify, address, and change that way of thinking in order to reduce male violence against women?

He’s Single

Many women are single too.  Why aren’t they killing people out of pure rage from being single? 

Many women are single, with children. Why aren’t they killing people out of pure rage, bills, stress, and doing everything on their own?

Many women are single, with children. Some of those husbands, fathers, and partners ran off and started entirely new lives. Why aren’t they killing people out of pure rage, bills, stress, and heartache?

Many women leaving violent relationships have ended up single and homeless…sometimes with children. Why aren’t they killing people over the stress, PTSD, rage, stress, and heartache?

“What makes a partner decide that financial circumstances outweigh a woman’s life (and sometimes a child’s life)?

A lot of girls go through high school being bullied about weight, looks, hair, etc…Why aren’t they going on shooting rampages?

In a relationship, the abused partner gets irritated, angry, upset, and afraid too. Why is it that one partner is choosing to respond to the same stressors using violence?

Males who choose violence must be held accountable for their crimes.

We must lay all blame for violent actions at the feet of the one person who chooses to murder.

The problem with scapegoating is that we spend time pointing fingers and slinging blame, underserved or not.

The problem with scapegoating is that we, as a society, are continuing to coddle the feelings and thoughts of grown men who choose to MURDER another person.

The problem with scapegoating is that we, as a society, continue to uphold misogyny. “It’s okay to murder as long as there was a good enough reason. And even better if it was ‘society’s fault.” Some parents hold toddlers more accountable for their actions than we do men who choose violence.

The problem with scapegoating is that it gets us no closer to solving the issues of male violence against others.

No one is safer when ‘everyone’ is to blame.

Watch this video on YouTube.