I love when Olivia says this!
For those who don’t know. Olivia is Olivia Pope. On Thursdays my entire home must go silent. All emergencies must be rescheduled to a more convenient time.
Olivia Pope is the lead fictional character on the ABC television show Scandal. She is based on real life crisis manager Judy Smith.
She is a fixer. She fixes the lives of others when they screw them up. Usually politically.
But she is like the hairstylist whose own hair needs attention.
The doctor with a slew of health issues they haven’t begun to address.
The professional organizer whose home you can’t even walk through.
Yes, that is our Olivia.
There is a bit of her in many of us. At different times in our lives we can be really great at doing well for others while parts of our own lives are suffering a bit.
It could be our weight. Parenting. Relationships. Other health issues. Maybe mental health issues.
Feel free to stop me when I get next door to your issue.
Recently someone that I am close to disclosed to me that she cries herself to sleep often.
“So why am I just hearing about this?” asked Survivor 2
“Because I am a Handler. I like to handle my own issues. I don’t like bothering other people with my stuff.” said Survivor 1
Ohhhhh. I get it.
You know as Survivors we learn how to pack our stuff so that it all fits into a bag we can carry with us everywhere we go. We pack our pain in bags with tough shells. No one will ever know that we are Survivors of abuse.
Hey, I did that same thing. I know.
Doesn’t it sound like a good idea at first?
Well, here is my experience with that.
At some point in your travels that bag gets overstuffed. Things fall out. Things get left behind. Everything falls apart. No matter how creatively you shift things around.
Then you get frustrated. Completely unable to cope. Start feeling all hopeless. It is a sad look. An even worse feeling though.
Can’t imagine putting one foot in front of the other.
Then you are physically unable to do it at all.
If you don’t have coping skills in place, which you usually don’t, things could go really bad. In fact, it could be fatal.
Survivors, it is best to have help along the way to assist you in managing what you must learn to carry. You can’t forget about it but you can learn tips and strategies on how to carry it so that it is easier to manage along the way.
Survivor, we can’t be solo baggage handlers.
We must intentionally seek to learn tips and strategies on more effective ways to carry our baggage. I know, the time thing. No one has it these days. Or, at least no one has enough of it.
But we must make it. We must place ourselves at the top of our “to do” lists.
Again, Survivors, we can’t be solo baggage handlers.
Now, excuse me, I have a phone call to make.
“Women and men of all hues generating solutions to both domestic violence and sexual violence.”
–Tonya GJ Prince has been a leading subject matter expert (SME) in domestic violence and sexual violence.
For over 25 years she has helped people heal, prevent, and overcome domestic and sexual violence.
In order to accomplish this mission, she founded several diverse & inclusive platforms designed to allow Survivors to use their own voices including;
WESurviveAbuse.com, SurvivorAffirmations.com, & BraidtheLadder.org.
Tonya is an author, activist, advocate, Survivor, speaker, counselor, & mentor.
B.S. Organizational Management & Development/Bluefield College
Email: info (at) wesurviveabuse.com
Google Voice: (720)-593-9462
www.TonyaGJPrince.com- BraidtheLadder.org -SurvivorAffirmations.com
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