(revised from original post 7/1/15) After the RiceLila married Jack. Things were fairy tale for a long time. And then the abuse started. Then it stopped. Then it never stopped. Lila Lila was gorgeous. In a way that was genuinely unforgettable. Meet her one time and you would remember both her name and [...]
Lila married Jack.
See, in public, Jack would take Lila out of her case (home) and show her off like a lovely trophy wife that he imported from overseas. Behind closed doors, he treated her like a ratty floor covering.
It actually took time for Lila and me to meet face to face.
At the time I was working at a domestic violence shelter. But, she was so terrified that she would only talk with me on the phone and wouldn’t give her name.
Jack and Lila
Lila had fallen in love with Jack shortly after they met on an international dating site for singles. Jack sent her touching love letters that she would put away in a special place. She would unfold the letters and read them until the paper was so ragged it was about to rip.
But think about this.
?Brides who originate from foreign countries come to America leaving all of their friends & families behind. This gives abusers home field advantage. Immediately the bride is isolated from others.
?Brides who originate from foreign countries typically have different cultural norms. This may make them seem weird, odd, cold, or suspicious to supporters of the abuser who may later insist that everything was all of the victim’s fault.
?Brides who originate from foreign countries often aren’t familiar with the legal system. This can make it difficult to file a police report or a protective order should the need arise.
?Brides who originate from foreign countries are sometimes viewed with suspicion as manipulative women who are just trying to get their green card.
?In cases of domestic violence on American soil sometimes victims have said that it is the American who initially receives the benefit of the doubt.
?Brides who originate from foreign countries might fear law enforcement because in their country law enforcement uses different tactics. They don’t even have the right to protest against what may have been done.
?Brides who originate from foreign countries typically don’t realize that there are resources available, that the resources are often free or low cost, and that even they may take advantage of them.
I am a romantic.
“Silence has created this crisis. Stories will have to save us now.”
With over 25 years of both professional & volunteer service, Tonya GJ Prince is a leading subject matter expert (SME) in domestic violence and sexual violence. She helps people heal, prevent, and overcome domestic and sexual violence.
In order to accomplish this mission, she has founded several platforms designed to allow Survivors to use their own voices including;
WESurviveAbuse.com, SurvivorAffirmations.com, & BraidtheLadder.org.
B.S. Organizational Management & Development/Bluefield College
Tonya is an author, activist, advocate, Survivor, speaker, counselor, & mentor.
Email: info (at) wesurviveabuse.com
Google Voice: (720)-593-9462
www.TonyaGJPrince.com- BraidtheLadder.org -SurvivorAffirmations.com
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