Lena: My Make-A-Wish To Share My Story Of Sexual Abuse

Align:start you before I told anybody what was happening before I told anybody what was happening before I told anybody what was happening I never hun

Align:start you before I told anybody what was happening before I told anybody what was happening before I told anybody what was happening I never hung out with friends I had no I never hung out with friends I had no I never hung out with friends I had no friends I was constantly trying to kill friends I was constantly trying to kill friends I was constantly trying to kill myself I hated life and I didn’t feel myself I hated life and I didn’t feel myself I hated life and I didn’t feel loved at all my name is Lena loved at all my name is Lena loved at all my name is Lena and I have had Hodgkin’s lymphoma I’ve and I have had Hodgkin’s lymphoma I’ve and I have had Hodgkin’s lymphoma I’ve been sexually abused and been through been sexually abused and been through been sexually abused and been through domestic violence and it’s okay because domestic violence and it’s okay because domestic violence and it’s okay because life goes on and I’m okay this is my mask for radiation we hold this is my mask for radiation we hold this is my mask for radiation we hold you down to a table like this usually you down to a table like this usually you down to a table like this usually that I had Hodgkin’s lymphoma and I got that I had Hodgkin’s lymphoma and I got that I had Hodgkin’s lymphoma and I got a make-a-wish a make-a-wish a make-a-wish I told them I would like to do a photo I told them I would like to do a photo I told them I would like to do a photo shoot and an article and video with my shoot and an article and video with my shoot and an article and video with my friends encouraging people boys and friends encouraging people boys and friends encouraging people boys and girls to come forward about sexual abuse girls to come forward about sexual abuse girls to come forward about sexual abuse and domestic violence this is the and domestic violence this is the and domestic violence this is the temporary housing given to us for free temporary housing given to us for free temporary housing given to us for free so that we can stay close to the so that we can stay close to the so that we can stay close to the hospital there’s me my little sister my hospital there’s me my little sister my hospital there’s me my little sister my little brother and then there’s my mom little brother and then there’s my mom little brother and then there’s my mom and we’re all in one room I want to be a and we’re all in one room I want to be a and we’re all in one room I want to be a tattoo artist at some point that’s tattoo artist at some point that’s tattoo artist at some point that’s basically my only aspiration this one is basically my only aspiration this one is basically my only aspiration this one is my main art book and so this is what my main art book and so this is what my main art book and so this is what I’ve drawn in the past year oh and I’ve drawn in the past year oh and I’ve drawn in the past year oh and that’s picture of me it’s me as a glass that’s picture of me it’s me as a glass that’s picture of me it’s me as a glass doll I’m a little broken sea but I’m doll I’m a little broken sea but I’m doll I’m a little broken sea but I’m still kind of intact honestly as far still kind of intact honestly as far still kind of intact honestly as far back as I can remember my dad was back as I can remember my dad was back as I can remember my dad was sexually abusive he could even find a sexually abusive he could even find a sexually abusive he could even find a way to abuse us in front of people way to abuse us in front of people way to abuse us in front of people without anybody noticing like he put a without anybody noticing like he put a without anybody noticing like he put a cover over us and do things and it’s cover over us and do things and it’s cover over us and do things and it’s just like it was everyday stuff like it just like it was everyday stuff like it just like it was everyday stuff like it wasn’t like once in a while it was wasn’t like once in a while it was wasn’t like once in a while it was everyday this is my baby sister and she everyday this is my baby sister and she everyday this is my baby sister and she is amazing and beautiful and wonderful is amazing and beautiful and wonderful is amazing and beautiful and wonderful oh what’s your name oh what’s your name oh what’s your name tomorrow who are you to this world nothing everybody’s pretty used to talking about everybody’s pretty used to talking about everybody’s pretty used to talking about it now but it’s the idea that something it now but it’s the idea that something it now but it’s the idea that something happened to my little sister and she’s happened to my little sister and she’s happened to my little sister and she’s just starting to talk about it when I just starting to talk about it when I just starting to talk about it when I was diagnosed with cancer I really was diagnosed with cancer I really was diagnosed with cancer I really didn’t think much of it it wasn’t that didn’t think much of it it wasn’t that didn’t think much of it it wasn’t that big of a deal to me and from everything big of a deal to me and from everything big of a deal to me and from everything I’ve been through I’ve gotten to the I’ve been through I’ve gotten to the I’ve been through I’ve gotten to the point where it’s like it happened so point where it’s like it happened so point where it’s like it happened so what I had menopause what I had menopause what I had menopause I still got it through it wait what yeah I still got it through it wait what yeah I still got it through it wait what yeah it’s a chemical induced menopause from it’s a chemical induced menopause from it’s a chemical induced menopause from the chemo I get the hot flashes and the the chemo I get the hot flashes and the the chemo I get the hot flashes and the night sweats and I don’t get my period night sweats and I don’t get my period night sweats and I don’t get my period anymore it’s like all that good stuff anymore it’s like all that good stuff anymore it’s like all that good stuff peach and Mariah are like my two best peach and Mariah are like my two best peach and Mariah are like my two best friends ever forever and ever and always friends ever forever and ever and always friends ever forever and ever and always they both experienced sexual abuse and they both experienced sexual abuse and they both experienced sexual abuse and domestic violence and the best way to domestic violence and the best way to domestic violence and the best way to spread awareness is to make people spread awareness is to make people spread awareness is to make people realize that it’s three fronts and come realize that it’s three fronts and come realize that it’s three fronts and come together and be through the same thing together and be through the same thing together and be through the same thing in different times of their lives that in different times of their lives that in different times of their lives that it happens more often than not like you it happens more often than not like you it happens more often than not like you don’t know what people have been through don’t know what people have been through don’t know what people have been through you know no I was scared you know no I was scared you know no I was scared no matter what you’re gonna be scared in no matter what you’re gonna be scared in no matter what you’re gonna be scared in a situation like that and until you find a situation like that and until you find a situation like that and until you find out it’s actually wrong I mean you know out it’s actually wrong I mean you know out it’s actually wrong I mean you know what’s wrong but you don’t know no it’s what’s wrong but you don’t know no it’s what’s wrong but you don’t know no it’s wrong when peaches around like my dad wrong when peaches around like my dad wrong when peaches around like my dad didn’t do anything cause me and peach didn’t do anything cause me and peach didn’t do anything cause me and peach were always together and it was just were always together and it was just were always together and it was just like you know like nothing could happen like you know like nothing could happen like you know like nothing could happen if you’re hanging out with a friend me if you’re hanging out with a friend me if you’re hanging out with a friend me and Mariah when I first met her we hung and Mariah when I first met her we hung and Mariah when I first met her we hung out all the time and one day we were out all the time and one day we were out all the time and one day we were climbing this tree and she said climbing this tree and she said climbing this tree and she said something about what her stepdad had something about what her stepdad had something about what her stepdad had done and I was like oh I was like four done and I was like oh I was like four done and I was like oh I was like four or five and he did it in our sleep so we or five and he did it in our sleep so we or five and he did it in our sleep so we weren’t aware but my oldest sister was weren’t aware but my oldest sister was weren’t aware but my oldest sister was she was awake during all of it she was she was awake during all of it she was she was awake during all of it she was the one who eventually told that my mom the one who eventually told that my mom the one who eventually told that my mom she didn’t want to believe it until the she didn’t want to believe it until the she didn’t want to believe it until the guy actually stood up and said yeah I guy actually stood up and said yeah I guy actually stood up and said yeah I did it did it did it and then and then and then got taken away it was horrible things got taken away it was horrible things got taken away it was horrible things that he did like horrible I don’t I’ve that he did like horrible I don’t I’ve that he did like horrible I don’t I’ve never talked to her about it I’ve only never talked to her about it I’ve only never talked to her about it I’ve only heard what my mom heard it is bad I found out that peach had been advocating found out that peach had been advocating found out that peach had been advocating for girls in her school and convincing for girls in her school and convincing for girls in her school and convincing them to come out about it and that them to come out about it and that them to come out about it and that actually gave me the idea for my wish actually gave me the idea for my wish actually gave me the idea for my wish it’s like she could do that at school it’s like she could do that at school it’s like she could do that at school why can’t I do that with my wish this is why can’t I do that with my wish this is why can’t I do that with my wish this is a great am i right just listening to other girls talking just listening to other girls talking just listening to other girls talking about it sometimes helps I think it about it sometimes helps I think it about it sometimes helps I think it really does like your neck yeah even now really does like your neck yeah even now really does like your neck yeah even now when I talk about it the more I talk when I talk about it the more I talk when I talk about it the more I talk about it it’s still really just some about it it’s still really just some about it it’s still really just some stress you know sometimes when you get stress you know sometimes when you get stress you know sometimes when you get stressed out and you have a situation in stressed out and you have a situation in stressed out and you have a situation in your past that stressed you out the your past that stressed you out the your past that stressed you out the stress will trigger memories the sexual stress will trigger memories the sexual stress will trigger memories the sexual abuse with my aunts husband started when abuse with my aunts husband started when abuse with my aunts husband started when I was young I told my dad and my stepmom I was young I told my dad and my stepmom I was young I told my dad and my stepmom about it but I never really like talked about it but I never really like talked about it but I never really like talked to them about it I just slowly started to them about it I just slowly started to them about it I just slowly started going downhill and I literally started going downhill and I literally started going downhill and I literally started writing myself notes saying that I writing myself notes saying that I writing myself notes saying that I deserved it one of the main reasons I deserved it one of the main reasons I deserved it one of the main reasons I had issues coming forward about anything had issues coming forward about anything had issues coming forward about anything is because my siblings not just my older is because my siblings not just my older is because my siblings not just my older siblings like judging me and hating me siblings like judging me and hating me siblings like judging me and hating me for it but my younger siblings cuz I had for it but my younger siblings cuz I had for it but my younger siblings cuz I had no idea they’d been through anything no idea they’d been through anything no idea they’d been through anything like it and it scared me having that like it and it scared me having that like it and it scared me having that realization especially my little sister realization especially my little sister realization especially my little sister cuz I had tried to protect her with all cuz I had tried to protect her with all cuz I had tried to protect her with all my might and it failed it was bad yeah I my might and it failed it was bad yeah I my might and it failed it was bad yeah I actually had somebody say well if you actually had somebody say well if you actually had somebody say well if you didn’t like it then why didn’t you say didn’t like it then why didn’t you say didn’t like it then why didn’t you say anything why were you with them why were anything why were you with them why were anything why were you with them why were you there why did that happen why didn’t you there why did that happen why didn’t you there why did that happen why didn’t you leave why didn’t you scream why you leave why didn’t you scream why you leave why didn’t you scream why didn’t you fight back there so going to didn’t you fight back there so going to didn’t you fight back there so going to be some things that you’re not going to be some things that you’re not going to be some things that you’re not going to be comfortable with talking about like be comfortable with talking about like be comfortable with talking about like saying you were sexually abused you saying you were sexually abused you saying you were sexually abused you don’t have to get into detail hopefully don’t have to get into detail hopefully don’t have to get into detail hopefully be better to speak out for yourself be better to speak out for yourself be better to speak out for yourself because you’re going to hold that in and because you’re going to hold that in and because you’re going to hold that in and it’s going to eat at you whether you it’s going to eat at you whether you it’s going to eat at you whether you notice it or not notice it or not notice it or not it’s like when you’re angry and you keep it’s like when you’re angry and you keep it’s like when you’re angry and you keep holding it in and holding it in holding it in and holding it in holding it in and holding it in eventually it’s gonna overflow and eventually it’s gonna overflow and eventually it’s gonna overflow and you’re gonna burst she went at their you’re gonna burst she went at their you’re gonna burst she went at their fresh stage I tried to go in myself like fresh stage I tried to go in myself like fresh stage I tried to go in myself like four times in like a two year span it four times in like a two year span it four times in like a two year span it was as bad like before I told anybody was as bad like before I told anybody was as bad like before I told anybody what was happening I never hung out with what was happening I never hung out with what was happening I never hung out with friends I had no friends I was friends I had no friends I was friends I had no friends I was constantly trying to kill myself I hated constantly trying to kill myself I hated constantly trying to kill myself I hated life and I didn’t feel loved at all and life and I didn’t feel loved at all and life and I didn’t feel loved at all and then I talked about it and now I have then I talked about it and now I have then I talked about it and now I have two of the most amazing friends in the two of the most amazing friends in the two of the most amazing friends in the entire world an awesome boyfriend and my entire world an awesome boyfriend and my entire world an awesome boyfriend and my family everybody knows and nobody cares family everybody knows and nobody cares family everybody knows and nobody cares anymore it’s not as big months okay I anymore it’s not as big months okay I anymore it’s not as big months okay I can go live my life and do what I want can go live my life and do what I want can go live my life and do what I want it doesn’t matter what’s up Internet I’m it doesn’t matter what’s up Internet I’m it doesn’t matter what’s up Internet I’m Lina I’m Mariah I’m peach we have a Lina I’m Mariah I’m peach we have a Lina I’m Mariah I’m peach we have a message for men women children whatever message for men women children whatever message for men women children whatever gender you would like to call yourself gender you would like to call yourself gender you would like to call yourself if you were sexually abused it’s okay to if you were sexually abused it’s okay to if you were sexually abused it’s okay to talk about it we encourage you to tell talk about it we encourage you to tell talk about it we encourage you to tell somebody someone will help you just say somebody someone will help you just say somebody someone will help you just say it and be proud of yourself and stand up it and be proud of yourself and stand up it and be proud of yourself and stand up for yourself and don’t change your story for yourself and don’t change your story for yourself and don’t change your story and don’t back down because people don’t and don’t back down because people don’t and don’t back down because people don’t believe you you just gotta do it believe you you just gotta do it believe you you just gotta do it don’t let anybody knock you down you

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