As an advocate, you hear a lot of people’s stories. You learn that a lot of sexual abuse and rape cases begin with coercion. Often, it is some sort of “if/then” scenario. Commonly, “if you don’t allow me access to you/your time, then something undesirable will happen.”
To be completely clear:
This predatory behavior is primarily being campaigned by males, BUT too many women are supporting and enforcing it. Stop it. It is creepy and violent.
Go find your love without using manipulation and creepery. Be attractive to good people.
Examples of coercion:
“Kiss me or I will tell everyone that you did anyway”
“Kiss me or my feelings will be hurt.”
“Let me____, or I will get my sister to beat you up.”
“Do this or I will tell your mom about that thing you did.”
“Do this or I will tell your mom you cursed.”
“Do this or I will spread rumors about you.”
“Do this or I will lie to (insert name) and tell her that you were talking about her.”
“Send me a nude picture of you or I will….”
“Let me____, or you won’t be my favorite anymore”
“Date/have sex with me or you will be considered a man-hater”
“Date/have sex with me or you will not be considered a “real man” who loves women”
“Date/have sex with me or you will be considered biphobic”
“Date/have sex with me or you will be considered transphobic”
“Date/have sex with me or you will be considered racist.”
“Date/have sex with me or you are homophobic.”
*****Let us remember…people can date you and/or have sex with you and still kill you because they believe you don’t even have the ‘right’ to reject them because you are ‘inferior’ to them. Dating and sexing is not a guarantee against prejudice, bigotry, bias, nor hate.
If you’re a fan of NCIS, the episode “Caged” did an excellent job of highlighting sexual coercion. In it, a prison guard was able to coerce an inmate into allowing her young daughter to be raped by him.
I could go on and on. Google: tricked into sending nudes and the results are heartbreaking.
Repeating until the end of time…………..
The space between our legs is not your designated safe space.
From @TonyaGJPrince on Twitter
The boundary lines that you surrender in favor of being ‘accommodating’ are not always easily recoverable. #ProtectYou
Stop blaming & sacrificing women to deal with male violence. End male violence by confronting…
Strangers v. People You Know https://youtu.be/Tc-VgLbSM4I