Dear Future Feminists & Womanists: They Are Not Going to Like You

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No matter how men identify, who they love, what their role is (or is supposed to be), how many wars they start, how many women & children they abuse & infect; men have the privilege of doing what they want with little thought to being likable, lovable, wifeable,  or sexually desirable. Men can be horrible people who do horrible things on a whim and be given MORE attention, money, success, and power that will take care of their family for generations to come. 
Being liked is only expected of girls and women.

Being “liked” aka “likeability factor” is overrated to an extreme degree.

Future feminists and womanists, go for yours! It is nice to be liked but not required.
Fight for your rights, opportunities, liberation, safety, and health.

Here is a collection of thoughts, quotes, snippets, and posts on the topic:

 

https://www.wesurviveabuse.com/what-you-call-yourself-is-your-preference-what-you-call-me-is-mine/

Why Silence Around Women’s Health is Potentially Deadly

 

https://www.wesurviveabuse.com/no-is-a-whole-reason/

 

It’s much cheaper for businesses, organizations, & policymakers to make everyone *share* everything; rather than make safe & reasonable accommodations for people with disabilities, vulnerable populations, ….including women & children.

 

It is still annoying when some people look down at folks who need empowerment. There are some people whose very survival depends on it.

 

https://www.wesurviveabuse.com/woman-you-are-enough/

Normalize #listeningtowomen as we talk about the unpretty realities about our experiences w/violence & neglect of safety, compassion, and concern for the well-being of females in every community.

 

No matter what they state; people’s words, actions, & deeds reveal how much (or little) they truly value women’s health, safety, & voices.

 

When it comes to Black women & Black girls, too often, we as a community concern ourselves more w/what other people will think and do; than we do for the health, wellbeing, and safety of the individual girl/woman. Please reconsider.

Protection of #boundaries is extremely critical to the health and safety of #victims/#Survivors of violence & abuse.

Black women and Black girls have always be seen as being “bad girls” for pursuing justice & safety. We’re supposed to support, participate (girl fights, bullying) & be the gracious recipients of violence in our lives. 

Your concern for your safety is reasonable and justified. #WomensHealth #Safetyneverstops 

 

Pro-LIFE defined: Black women are everywhere in the world every day appealing for the safety, protection, provision, respect, & quality education of *our* children. We still must constantly remind folks that our children are *children*.

Don’t you ever ask me where I am for a #MeToo

issue, victim, or Survivor. Ask yourself why YOU aren’t right here, fighting with us for the health, safety, well-being, and healing for YOUR people.

 

Protection of #boundaries is extremely critical to the health and safety of #victims/#Survivors of violence & abuse.https://www.wesurviveabuse.com/to-obtain-more-equality-for-females-we-have-to-talk-about-males/

 

As a #domesticviolence advocate, it’s still difficult to hear #women all the way into their senior years of life, express certain awe at the prospect of developing their own #safetyplan AND being encouraged & empowered to do it. “I get to *decide* what makes *me* feel safe.’ Wo

 

As a veteran #domesticabuse & #sexualviolence advocate, it is common to see #women & #girls with independent thoughts, opinions, & concerns abt THEIR OWN health & safety be ostracized in the home, the community, the family & the world. Often violently.

In a world that keeps failing to prioritize our health & safety…..#Women & #girls have EVERY right to have open conversations about laws, guidelines, practices, policies, health-care, & plans for safety that impact them.

 

Save lives. If you’re a policymaker or leader with no expertise in risk assessment & safety planning, *hire* experts.

 

Remember, there are groups, organizations, corporations, employers, friends, family, and relationship partners who may only like you for the limited time that you are useful to them.  When your needs and concerns become less comfortable for them, your usefulness may expire. 

Put yourself first. Be true to yourself. Stand up for yourself. 

Being “liked” aka “likeability factor” is overrated to an extreme degree.

Future feminists and womanists, go for yours! 

Prioritize being kind, and de-prioritize “being liked.”

Fight for your rights, opportunities, liberation, safety, and health; like your life depends on it. Because it does.