Drowning Out the Truth Creates Female Isolation

For healing, women and girls need & deserve more safe and exclusive spaces to heal from violence and abuse.

 

As advocates, we are seeing women shrink into the shadows as their voices & concerns are shut down & drowned out when they struggle to de-isolate. 

For women, finding a "community" focused on genuine & honest healing is becoming more difficult.

This morning, a woman's advocate shared that she received a disturbing call in the middle of the night.  A friend is in surgery having part of a skull removed to relieve the pressure on her brain as a result of beatings from her husband.

"No One Can Save You"

Advocates are all too familiar with such injuries. Abusers may commonly injure their partners on parts of the body that are less likely to be seen by the general public. Regularly and periodically, I think back on the women that I served who died from head-related injuries over the years. Sometimes I'm sad and other times, like the advocate who shared this morning, I am furious.

She talked about her friend leaving supportive circles. Going back into the blinding darkness of isolation.  Her friend retreated to the devil that she knew rather than deal with males who were allowed to join support circles as women. It disturbs some women to see these males grow visibly excited as women share their pain.

"I Never Loved You"

For some who don't know, women in pain is a turn-on or sometimes a mild satisfaction for some males. It is like they are consuming their favorite genre on a streaming app. Some people like "eat the rich" content. People who despise women like their "women in pain" content. For the same reasons of course.

No. Not every male, but how is anyone to know the intentions of another human being that they have no intimate connection with. And even in such a connection, no matter how beautiful it appears,  we still don't know.

Maybe he isn't that type of male. He is one of the good guys. Women are reporting that it is not difficult to detect that those males slip in and out of speaking to women the same way that men do sometimes.  

Hijacking ideas, mansplaining concepts they have no idea about, being condescending, failing to understand the real-life burdens and expectations of girlhood/womanhood, and calling women seemingly endearing names as an insult (look, sweetie).

For women who have been abused, these can be traumatizing triggers, especially in spaces where she is encouraged to be vulnerable, sincere, genuine, and honest. 

So in this 'healing space' is everyone going to be vulnerable, sincere, genuine, and honest, or..... just some people?

Support communities and circles where victims feel safe and heard are critical. In the United States, these communities are life-saving for every human being who may potentially find themselves in the vicinity of the abuser's bullet.

It is tough to heal in the presence of people who hate that you get to breathe air too.

"You better not tell"

Increasingly women and girls who express discomfort are admonished, bullied, dismissed, and silenced. That's an abusive dynamic. Even if it comes from someone who prides themselves on being "good".  

(Reminder: People who are abusive to others commonly justify their bad treatment of others as being, ''for your own good." They don't need to change, you do.)

Women and children have every right to express concerns about their safety, well-being, and preservation of their civil rights.

"I Will Always Get to You Anytime That I Want To"

People ask, "But how often does this happen?"

Answer: Anytime that he wants. Just like in child sexual abuse, sexual harassment, rape, and domestic violence-where most of the attackers are males.

 Anytime that he wants.

We can stop allowing males to dominate and decide when other people get to feel safe. We can continue the work that paves the path for women and children to speak up on their behalf and for their needs.

If you are a praying person, please pray for the woman in surgery.  Please pray for victims of all violence and abuse everywhere.

elink.io | See Original