How Survivors Can Create a Support System That Works for Them

As Survivors, many of us are not used to asking for what we need.   Survivors of abuse in childhood were not able to do this.  Just didn’t h...

As Survivors, many of us are not used to asking for what we need.  

Survivors of abuse in childhood were not able to do this.  Just didn’t have the luxury of asking for what we needed.

Even abuse in later years a victim may feel isolated. It seems that you must make it through on your own.

Cage of Lies
Lies.  
There are reasons that abusive people often make victims feel alone.  

⇰Feeling alone is more likely to make a person feel hopeless and sad.

⇰You aren’t exposed to new ideas, new strategies, and new ways of thinking. ⇰You aren’t exposed to tips.

⇰You aren’t exposed to directions out of bondage.

By isolating victims, abusers keep victims locked in a cage while the abuser holds the key.  

Reality
You are never alone. Never. Never. Never.
You just go out and find your very own circle.

Obstacles are Real Too
It isn’t your imagination.  

There are very real obstacles for victims/Survivors of abuse.  
There are very real obstacles for victims/Survivors of abuse who seek help.

⇰In general, most people aren’t skilled at how to deal with victims of crime involving abuse.  

⇰In some areas, there are fewer resources than others.  
⇰Not everyone may be equipped to assist you with your unique issues, including counselors, advocates, and other helping professionals.

The chaos and complexity that abuse brings into a life is not easy to repair.

But we Survivors have many tools to help us lead extraordinary lives.  
Sometimes you need a hammer.
Sometimes, a screwdriver.
Sometimes, that other thingy.

Just depends on what needs to be done.  



Tool: 11 Step Support System Creation Process

Surviving is challenging
Surviving is even more challenging when you’re forced to face it alone.

If you find yourself without the support system you need, it’s time to create one.

Get the support you need:

1. Envision your support system. What do you need? Do you need a

shoulder to cry on? Or do you simply need a reliable friend? Once you know what your support system looks like, you can begin building it.

2. Start close to home and branch out from there. Family and close friends are the obvious starting point for creating a support system. But you have to be willing to ask for help.

It’s also important to provide support when others are in need. Start with your close friends and branch out to more casual friends and coworkers. You might have a few neighbors, too.

3. Engage in your hobbies. Others that share the same interests can

become new friends. You already have a lot in common! Be a good friend and you’ll be able to expect the same in return.

4. Find a work mentor. This might be someone at your place of employment. It could also be someone from a different company or even someone retired. When things are tough at work, you’ll have someone to rely on that’s familiar with your situation. They also have your best interests at heart.

5. Find a support group. If you have a specific challenge, such as alcoholism or the death of a loved one, you can find a local support group and share your story. Those that share the same issue can be the most sympathetic.

6.

Find a spiritual mentor. A spiritual mentor might be a qualified yoga teacher or the priest at your local church. It might even be an interested, fellow church member. Places of worship are great places to find caring, helpful people.

7. Volunteer. Your fellow volunteers are likely to be supportive of your endeavors. You’ll also have the opportunity to see how great your life really is. Find an organization you believe in and provide support to others.

8.

Join a club or sports team. There’s nothing like the camaraderie of a fellow team member. Play your favorite sport and make new friends. You can also join the chess, hiking, or knitting club. Find something you enjoy.

9. Be open. Others are much more likely to be empathetic if you’re able to be open.

10. Go online. You can be anonymous while getting the advice and support you require. There are an endless number of support groups and forums ready, willing, and able to help. You can even choose your own name.

11.

Get professional help. There’s plenty of help available. Some of it will require payment, but there are also free options out there. Talking to an expert can be of great help.

Create a support system for your life. Networking isn’t just for your career. The same skills are used to find those that will be supportive.

Create the network you need now so it will be there to support you when you need it.