Fact, Fiction, Black Women & Nate Parker: 7 TRUE Reasons Some Black Women Did Not Support Birth of a New Nation

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So some folks are mad at black women again hunh?  What else is new? Still, Nate Parker is not a hero. I have noticed a disturbing trend amo...



So some folks are mad at black women again hunh? 
What else is new?


Still, Nate Parker is not a hero.

I have noticed a disturbing trend amongst some in the black culture. Whenever a black male celebrity is accused of rape, there is a segment that elevates that celeb to mythical black superhero status.  

They used to be people, perhaps even admired people. Yet, the moment it is learned that they are rapists, "he was like my father", "he was going to buy NBC", "he is the creator of an Academy award winning 'iconic' film".

In the last three months, Nat Turner who is a very important figure in American History becomes THE person to know and understand.  People assume that others haven’t read or studied Nat Turner because maybe they haven’t.

Birth of a Nation goes from, “It was a good movie, you might want to check it out.
To: “Black people MUST support THIS movie!”

Interesting.

For the culture, we must stop elevating people to hero status as soon as it is learned that they are rapists.

Don’t Ever Forget

Two things were forgotten in all of this that must never be forgotten.

1. People must stop forgetting the buying power of black women.
This election cycle much has been written and said about black women being a powerful political voting bloc.   

We are also a powerful consumer bloc because, like our mainstream counterparts, we tend to make most of the financial decisions in households.  

Roughly 62% of black women believe embracing and supporting their culture is important.
Furthermore, about 59% feel a strong obligation to support minority businesses.  
80% of black women agree that being aware of purchasing decisions is important.
Nielson Study Highlights the Power of Black Consumers
2. People must stop forgetting that black women hurt and have been hurt.  
Most studies show that Black women are continuing to experience violence at alarmingly high rates.  According to Black Women’s Blueprint, 60% of Black women experience sexual assault by the time that they are 18.
 
People came up with a lot of silly reasons why they thought that Black women didn’t support this film. If you are interested in truth rather than fiction,  I can give you 7 reasons why many black women did not support Nate Parker’s ‘Birth of a Nation’.

1. Nate Parker


EBONY.com: Yeah, as 36-year-old Nate.
Nate Parker: Put it this way, when you’re 19, a threesome is normal. It’s fun. When you’re 19, getting a girl to say yes, or being a dog, or being a player, cheating. Consent is all about–for me, back then–if you can get a girl to say yes, you win.
EBONY.com: Yes to, like, hanging out? Or yes to, like, sex?
Nate Parker: If I can be just honest about it, just being down. Back then, when I was young and we were out being dogs it was about is she down? You think she down?
EBONY.com: Was that a question you would actually pose to her?
Nate Parker: No.
EBONY.com: So it was kinda like an assumption you were working on?
Nate Parker: Back then, it felt like…I’ll say this: at 19, if a woman said no, no meant no. If she didn’t say anything and she was open, and she was down, it was like how far can I go?


Just days before the movie was released, he completely changed his attitude and tone.
Nate Parker’s “tour” was a disaster.  Black women also didn’t take kindly to the fact that he was rude to one interviewer. It was Robin Roberts, a black woman.

Read more at EBONY  

1. Change
This thing you all have with Woody Allen and Roman Polanski.

You know, once upon a time we didn’t wear seatbelts. People died and we figured out that we needed to make a law that children should be in car seats, drivers in seat belts and passengers in seatbelts. Now we have airbags that deploy all over the car.  

BUT unfortunately, people died in order for us to figure this out.

Things change. When we know better, we do better.  We don’t keep doing the old thing that hurt people.

Advocates/Activists, victims, and Survivors work hard daily to push for change.  Too many people were hurt by our old way of doing things.  We are out demanding change and ever so gradually it is happening.

Would you please let it?  Let the people change. We worked hard for this. We earned this. Let’s change and stop killing people.

We, as a society, still have a long way to go but thank God we are not where we used to be.

2. Forgiveness? Really!

This gets dragged out for both sexual and domestic violence.


Far too, much is being expected of victims these crimes.  

Someone vandalizes your body, leaving emotional scars that last a lifetime, and "I’m sorry I’m a Christian now" is supposed to solve everything.  Perhaps that gets you pardoned from death row by a sitting governor, but it doesn't travel far with many Survivors.
  
When we forgive it is for ourselves.



  • Expect us to hold all violators accountable for their actions.
    •  Expect us to warn others about these violators.  
    • Expect us to keep our distance emotionally, physically, and financially from these violators. 

    • And, go on and ...Expect us to hope and pray for justice. 


You know, the way the rest of you would if someone totaled your vehicle or robbed your home.  These are our bodies. We cherish them.  Violators should and will be held accountable.

3. Emotional Budgets

Many Survivors decided to spend our empathy on our fellow victims and not the rapist.

Yet anytime we support victims rather than the brand new mythical black superhero we are the traitors.  We supported her b/c there but for the grace of God...it could have been any of us.  

Many of us, myself included, have attempted suicide.  By God’s grace alone I wasn’t successful.  

We know what it is like to be depressed.  We know what it is like to desire to escape the scene of the crime.  If your body happens to be the scene of the crime, oh well, it has to go.  Because the pain of living in your skin, the scene of the crime(s), is excruciating.  

Some of us get to a place of joy but we understand completely when a fellow victim says that they did not.  It was hard for us to find too.


4. Abuse to Prison pipeline. 
 
We are being misused, mistreated, abused, molested and raped.  

Our entire society demands our silence through the pain.  That isn’t a healing method, that is punishment. 
 
Both the mainstream white culture and our own black
culture continues to punish us for crimes we did not commit.  

When this not so well-intentioned solution doesn’t work we get punished, again. 

In some states, the juvenile justice system, 80% of girls were victims of physical or sexual abuse before they were incarcerated.
South Carolina:  81%
Oregon: 76% sexually abused before the age of 13.
California: 45% of the girls were raped/sodomized
California: 56% of girls sexually abused.
African American girls are 14% of the population but 33.2% are detained or committed.

What we see is a commitment on the part of law enforcement to arrest for non-violent status offenses that include truancy, running away, and loitering,” Malika Saada Saar, the executive director of the Human Rights Project for Girls, told reporters in a conference call. “All behaviors that correlate with childhood sexual abuse, with a child that is being abused and is trying to protect herself.”

Heck, I ran away from home at the age of 13!  A family member found me.  But what if law enforcement had found me?  See, there but for the grace of God!

Please read this highly illuminating report.  
The Sexual Abuse to Prison Pipeline:  The Girls’ Story

5.
What about?
Please stop asking us where we are when other celebrities from other cultures are named as rapists, abusers, etc.  

WE are calling them out. WE take the same actions.  

You ever think that you don’t notice because you aren’t paying attention?

When people accuse black people of not being active in the community on social media we ignore them.  

They don’t realize that our communities have always run on people power.  No one that I know sleeps in on the weekends.  Isn’t there volunteering, mentoring, church work, community organizational work to be done somewhere?

6. Rape and Slavery

How are you going to address social change in a movie dealing with slavery, plan a nationwide social justice tour, without first acquiring knowledge about rape?  

I know that the mainstream culture is most uncomfortable with this conversation.  Even many of the white women who work in the area of rape and sexual violence are not all that comfortable with this conversation.

Still, it seems that some people in our own culture are only comfortable having discussions about certain types of violence. People speak fluently about beatings, lynchings, slurs, and bondage.  

Few are ready to discuss one of the biggest horrors of slavery that still remains unspoken.  We need to be able to discuss rape and be comfortable with victims and Survivors having a prominent voice in that discussion.


Until we can address all violence against all people we will not be free.

Unfortunately we will probably repeat this discussion just with new players.  If you only pay attention to sexual violence when there is a controversy, then you will never learn anything.

COMMENTS

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WE Survive Abuse : Fact, Fiction, Black Women & Nate Parker: 7 TRUE Reasons Some Black Women Did Not Support Birth of a New Nation
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