An Open Letter to My Fellow Christians about Sex Abuse

Re: Rape, sexual violence, molestation, and child sexual abuseI can very easily recall my last suicide attempt.It was years ago, but my mind always remembers it like it was just the other day or something.I remember coming home from the hospital. They had pumped my stomach, again. I was a burning furnace.I was angry. I had been trying to end my suffering here on this earth since I was a child.

The Truth about Child Sexual Abuse & Respect

Someone once gave me this well-meaning parenting advice once:“Always teach children to respect their elders by teaching them to refer to adults as “Mr.” and “Ms.” I get the spirit of this advice.Respect for elders & adults were huge in my mom’s home. We were raised to show ALL adults a high level of respect. No questions asked.Unfortunately, where silence AND limited questions co-exist, there is usually someone suffering. When I hear

The Faux Fight Against Child Sex Abuse

Last May was one of the happiest days of my entire life.My son graduated from high school. I sat there among the other proud family members as the band played a medley of inspirational tunes. I was sitting with just a portion of the village that helped me raise him.I always thought that when this day came I would be sobbing. People around me would wonder if I was confused.

Quotes on Overcoming Pain and Suffering for Survivors of Sexual Violence

The journey of healing from sexual violence and the pain that you stumble upon along the way is so hard for others to understand.  You can’t even come up with a  description. Sometimes it can feel as if you are speaking a language that no one else seems fluent in.  After much struggle, I have come to believe that it is okay to feel the pain that was suffered.  It is a natural and human response, nothing to

Bye Misery: More Hope in Survivor memoirs

I don’t want to go to therapy sessions with people.I canceled quite a few of my own back in the day.  Because therapy, if you’re doing it right, isn’t just complaining about who done ya wrong.  It is the hardest thing that you will ever have to do in life. I promise you.I would read those books because therapists would stop me in the middle of my sentence and say, “You know, you

Why Other People’s forgiveness may not be for you

I’m concerned. I have been watching a reality television show about a popular gospel group. I know that people learn lessons from television. I do too.  To an extent. Y’all do know that taking advice from other people about their situations is like taking other people’s prescription medications.  It might not always work.  You need a little more information. About this forgiveness thing.There are miracles in forgiveness. A mother forgives

That time When Rolling Stone Schooled Us about Sexual Violence

  I know. We got schooled. Rolling Stone did a huge piece about sexual assault on UVA’s campus. Allegedly, members of a fraternity attacked a female student.  Now Rolling Stone is retracting the story. Well, I  sure hope that we all learned some lessons. The right ones though. Otherwise, we’ll be repeating this thing over again and I was kind of hoping to graduate on time. 5 Lessons We Can All Learn

Survivor Affirmation: Find Today's Blessing

As a Survivor I understand. If you want advice about how to have a great day folks have just the advice for you.  People say, “Get over it” Of course they don’t understand.  It isn’t that we can’t let go of the past.  The past won’t let us go.  It intrudes upon even our best moments like a nuisance trespasser. I’ve heard it said that they call today the “present”

5 Reasons Why the Silence Around Abuse Isn't Golden

They say “silence is golden”.  No, it isn’t, it’s tarnished and rusty on the edges.  At least when it comes to abuse it is. Allow me to show my work: Backstory: A few months ago I was visiting a family member.  One day when my son was about 7, he was walking home from school when a stranger rode up beside him in a car and told him that his “dad” sent