At First I Was…
When we have been wounded we must heal.
To do that, I think we all use a combination of tools.
Some of them are good for us.
Some of them ain’t, okay.
Some days, I recall the alarm disrupting my sleep, and the sun rudely throwing light into my bedroom.
I didn’t feel like moving.
I didn’t feel like talking.
I didn’t want to separate my eyelids.
I just didn’t want to join along with people and do life again.
But I Grew Strong
But when your toddler busts through the door and wants “ceral“, you really have no choice. Well, you do, but my little guy always held my love hostage for the price of a hug, a kiss, or a smile.
Music has been my elixir on many a day. I even had special theme music for those days. One must, is there any being more impatient than a hungry toddler?
At the top of the playlist was, the classic disco song, “I Will Survive”
Whenever I hear that song, it ain’t never about no sorry love interest.
No. It is about things with the power to stop me, even kill me. It is about all of my obstacles deposited courtesy of rape and abuse. Low self esteem, lack of confidence, shame, guilt, and pain.
Those are the things that lead you to those sorry love interests anyhow. Not to mention all the other deadly demons.
A Vocalist and Survivor
Little did I know until just a few years ago that the great Gloria Gaynor is herself a Survivor!
It so happens that she survived a childhood vandalized by sexual violence, an unhealthy marriage and the murder of her only sister.
She is a real life inspiration. Gloria Gaynor recorded a classic hit that has inspired millions. Many years ago, she became a Christian and began to speak openly about her trials and her healing process. She continues to entertain audiences.
She is now a spokesperson for the National Network to End Domestic Violence.
Gloria always took the time to listen to how, I Will Survive, changed the lives of people all over the world. Not long ago Gloria Gaynor put her story in writing along with other Survivors in a book titled, We Will Survive.
It is a compilation of true stories of Survivors, including Gloria Gaynor’s.
I just can’t tell you how much I enjoyed this book. To learn the real story behind the song that had given me inspiration for years was a glorious full circle moment that I was glad that I lived to see. In addition, stories of survival always provide fuel for my journey.
I am thankful that on any given day when I am low there is something or someone around me to jumpstart my day in a positive direction. On many a day, that has been the voice of Survivor Gloria Gaynor.