Why Some Victims of Rape and Abuse Say It Never Happened 1

Why Some Victims of Rape and Abuse Say It Never Happened

  After the loss When a victim of sexual violence reports that someone raped them they might want to press charges.  At first.But then…….As time goes on they may begin to pull away and become less cooperative.With everyone.Medical professionals. Law enforcement. Prosecution. Even advocates. And, even their own friends & family.DoubtSo because of this,  somewhere […]

One of the Worst Pieces of Advice I Was Ever Given about Surviving Child Sexual Abuse

I am a voracious reader.  As early as I can recall my mother required that all three of her children read at least two books at a time daily.   I don’t recall being read to as a child. I only recall asking my mother how to pronounce multiple syllable words.  Over the years, I […]

An Open Secret for Ending the Cycle of Abusive Relationships and Finding the Healthy One

So yesterday I posted about ending the cycle of abusive relationships in a person’s personal life and finding the healthy one.   Well later in the day, I read this post from author Olevia Henderson.  Oh, it blessed my soul. It was also the perfect compliment to the post from yesterday.  She came in through […]

Survivor Affirmation: I Love Myself Because (video)

7 Ways Survivors Can Embrace Authenticity and Present Yourself Honestly:

  Love Me Hate Me Dear LORD, please Bless us ALL cause this is ME! People think that you should get over being a victim of violence because they think that nothing of value was taken.   Not like a car, large screen t.v., computer or anything valuable like that.  Nothing you can put down […]

10 Excellent Memoirs about the Sexual Violence Survivor’s Journey

Glad to see that we are in a season of listening to the powerful voices of Survivors.  Excellent!  What is most unfortunate is that there are so many out there.  This week I gathered up a cross section of a few memoirs that I have read about the healing journey.  Each one is truly authentic. […]

Why Does Society Make it Difficult for Survivors of Rape & Abuse to Come Forward? Part 2

The Truth About Rape & Distraction That No One is Talking About: Part 1

Read any comment section or social media platform on the topic of Nate Parker and his new film “The Birth of a Nation” and you will find the following phrases: “I find it funny how just when…” “How come none of this came out when….?” “Why all of a sudden….?” “You see the timing of […]

Part 2 Good Talk: 7 Ways Counseling Helps Survivors of Abuse to Heal

Purpose of Counseling in Abuse 1. Understand and obtain validation that the abuse was a violation.        2.  Confront and acknowledge the pain and hurt of the abuse. 3.  Increase awareness of your worth, personal value, and confidence, which may have been eroded by the sexual violence. 4.  Overcome feelings of guilt and/or shame. […]

Are Children Capable of Attracting Rape?

Trigger Warning  So….I happened to watching a show that I enjoy immensely. It was “Greenleaf” on OWN. I love that show!  Actually, I was tweet watching it. You know, where you are watching it on television while enjoying the comments on Twitter. Anyway, there was a scene between a teenage girl and a leader of […]

Who Else Is a Reliable Source of Guilt and Shame In Survivors of Rape?

People who pressure Survivors to tell a single story. via GIPHYEx:  Black Survivors are not allowed to tell how slavery impacted our black families. Even though this is a core reason why generation after generation, in some family units, you can talk about any other social ill.  However, you may never speak about rape.The damage still […]

6 Ways Feminists Like Lena Dunham May Be Impeding Progress in the Fight Against Rape & Child Sexual Abuse

1. Distractions I have my own sentiments about “triggers”. As a black woman, no one puts bumper guards around the world for me.  So, I just am not accustomed to expecting them to be there because I endured multiple rapes for a significant portion of my childhood.  However, when it comes to trauma, I do […]

How Some Teachers Are on the Frontlines of Fighting Child Sexual Abuse

Did you know that some victims of child sexual abuse prefer to confide in teachers rather than parents? Even those from “good” loving homes? No one knew Up until today, few know this.  My teachers were the first safe adults to learn that I was being raped by people my mother and family members both […]

He Went That Way: The Dirty Truth about Celebrities & Famous People Who Habitually Moralize Off the Backs of the Oppressed

Child’s PlaybookAs a kid, I saw two children playing. A girl, Terry* and her younger brother Damon*. Damon was always getting in trouble for bothering Terry.  Of course, he always said it was Terry. Look, Damon was like Dennis the Menace. It was hard for me to believe anything that he said.  Until I saw what I […]

Songs Survivors Play to Survive Disaster

I Tried One day years ago I was trying to make it through a challenge.   In order to get through it I came up with a solution. I was going to flood my mind with positive words.  I chose to listen to my pastor’s sermons every time that I was in the car, which happened […]

How Survivors Knew About Bill Cosby before the Rest of the World

You can imagine that being my child means that you hear a whole lot of quotes, stories, lessons and such.  On repeat. So you better believe that when I make an error my son takes the opportunity to call it out. Like that  when someone cut me off in traffic and I let my usual semi-curse […]

Explain Like I’m 5: What victims of domestic violence go through to get justice

I originally posted this on 9/3/15. On 5/16/2016 I aided a victim in DC and unfortunately this is still true.  Why doesn’t she leave?   This question annoys me to no end.   When you talk to someone about domestic violence you come to expect that question.   There are a lot of reasons.   But […]

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