Savvy Safety Tips Survivors Want Parents to Know this Holiday Season

Savvy Safety Tips Survivors Want Parents to Know this Holiday Season

During the holidays children might visit family and friends.   Friends and family might come over to visit. They haven’t seen the children in a long time. We think nothing of it when they rush over to hug and perhaps kiss the children.   But wait. Do the kids want to be hugged and kissed? […]

Sexual Violence Against Males: No Videos, No Witnesses, and It IS Killing Them

So last night I was twitter watching one of my favorite shows. Yep, it is a crime show.     You can read about the story here: What I want to talk about is the reaction on social media. **Emotions High As Former Bloomfield Football Player Sentenced In Fatal Stabbing Myths about Teen Boys and Sexual Abuse Well, […]

Sexual Violence Against Males: No Video, No Witnesses, and It IS Killing Them

So last night I was twitter watching one of my favorite shows. Yep, it is a crime show.     You can read about the story here: What I want to talk about is the reaction on social media. **Emotions High As Former Bloomfield Football Player Sentenced In Fatal Stabbing Myths about Teen Boys and Sexual […]

How Mainstream Feminists, Women’s Orgs & Sexual Assault Orgs Feed the Culture of Violence

One of my all-time favorite songs is by the great Bonnie Raitt: “I Can’t Make You Love Me” It fits today. During the Daniel Holtzclaw trial, there were few, if any mainstream feminist organizations, women’s organizations, or sexual assault organizations lending their support.  Since the entire media was intentionally silent, the heavy lifting was done […]

How to Get the Truth Around Obstacles of Myths, Lies, & Distraction: Infographics

Let Me Tell It I once worked as the sexual assault Outreach Advocate for the state of Virginia.  Here is what I learned.  What one thing that I learned is that no human being can tell everyone’s story. It is just impossible. It is why I like to build platforms to give others an opportunity to […]

Welcome the Week with Wisdom: Quotes on Stories & Writing to Nourish Survivors

?“The single story creates stereotypes, and the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story.” ~Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie?“I think writing really helps you heal yourself. I think if you write long enough, you will be a healthy person. ~Alice Walker? If […]

How to Break Through Group Think and Get Your Message Delivered

You might have heard of a concept called “group think”.   Short version: It means when everyone goes along in the same direction because that is what they are used to.  They almost do it habitually.  Like a routine They forgot ‘why’ a long time ago.  In fact, the ‘why’ doesn’t even matter to them anymore.  […]

Tonya’s Top Picks for Best Sexual & Domestic Violence Storytelling for Survivors

One of my best writing teachers taught me a great lesson.   Read, read, read.  Write, write, write. The best way to learn to write is to study the story telling skills of others.   Like building a house.  Now, we take our materials and build on top of that.  How about we come up […]

How Survivors Can Preserve the Lessons from Their Experiences for Storytelling

In order to tell your story, you are going to need the details. No one can tell your story like you can. And Survivors have some of the most fascinating stories ever. Why?   1.Stories of good vs. evil are of great interest to people from the time that they are small children. Good vs. […]

Survivors Have the Right to Tell Their Stories

Silence You have the right to remain silent. I learned about the Miranda rights case in my 8th grade Civics class. Great lesson. Remaining silent can actually keep you out of prison. Got it. That was pretty easy. That went right along with the family’s commandment. “Don’t put all your business in the street.”   Speaking But who […]

High Five From WESurvive: Lavon Morris Grant A Spiritual Miracle

In early 2002 or so a group of us Women of Color working in sexual and domestic drove down from Virginia to North Carolina to a two-day conference.  It was a Women of Color conference.   There weren’t many being held in the southern region.  So at that time, nearby states drove to support one another […]

No Justice, No Piece: To Organizations, Movements, & Activists Who Are Not Yet Intersectional

They say one of the number one reasons that marriages end is because of money.  I understand that.  When I first got married, money was a serious discussion. Right away one of our major differences was the way that we give to charities and causes.  We absolutely did not support the same types of causes.  […]

Is this the Real Truth about Sexual Violence that No One Wants to Say Out Loud

Okay. True stuff.   I have a condition called fibromyalgia.   I know. Most people have never heard of it, but it has been known about for centuries.  All I can tell you is I am in physical pain 24/7 365.  I am exhausted, etc. etc. etc. But I am also happy, filled with joy, love, hope, […]

WE Survive Abuse

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