On suicide awareness days it isn’t always the person suffering that we need to address. Not everyone is compassionate. Not everyone is compassionate every day. I tell this story because not everyone survives to tell their story. They are gone now and you don’t know that they reached out for help. Only, “help” failed them that day. I’ll never forget the day that I asked someone to drop me off
Planet Shock The early 80’s. I was in elementary school. Rap was newish to those of us in central Virginia. It was launching! And, our parents hated it. Back then corporations knew kids didn’t have a dime. None of that coddling broke kids stuff. Black radio played a few rap songs during certain times only. We dealt with it. Parents: “What about Michael Jackson?” Us: Michael Jackson is still fresh. He was either
I love myself because I am worthy of love. I respect myself and the healing journey that I have taken to bring me to this day. I am in the process of freeing myself from the shackles of past events. I rid myself of any shame or guilt. Any shame and guilt around what was done to me does not belong to me. No matter what anyone says I have
The Very Idea People used to walk all over my boundaries. And, I used to allow them to get away with it. Wise counsel taught me that that was because I didn’t even know what a boundary was. I knew that land had fences and gates, but people? I had no idea that people had boundaries, territory, personal space. Even more, I didn’t know that I was entitled to this.
I am my own unique self – special, creative, and wonderful. No one in the entire universe is like me. My Creator made me with a special assignment in mind. I am special, creative, and wonderful. When I remember this it helps me strive to reach my full potential. Of all the people in the world, I am the only one with my specific and exact combination. I am a
I silence the voice of self-criticism. I don’t even hear self-criticism speak when it tries to get my attention. It doesn’t have anything good to say. All it does is paralyze me on the road to self-improvement. I will not allow self criticism to stop progress again. I stop critical thoughts from taking up valuable space in my mind. I expose self-criticism when it comes disguised as self-reflection or self-improvement.
We thought they were right Some of us were children when an older girl told us that it was normal to play with each other in a way that devastated us. Some of us were children when a group of older boys told us it was normal for boys and girls to play in a way that devastated us. Some of us were children when an adult told us it
When a close relative, Morgan*, announced her pregnancy our family was ecstatic! I had to hear hear every detail. By this time my own pregnancy was like 15 years ago and I I was too young, sick, and terrified to appreciate the whole miracle. Yes, I was reliving my pregnancy through her. She didn’t mind. I checked. I know I can get bossy and not in a good way all
My Granny had a saying, “You have got to reach up and git yo self, now.” She always said it with such a stern voice. I think because of that I missed the love that was within her message. She would say this to you if you were outwardly distressed, angry, anxious, or having some sort of breakdown. In fact, it was a common phrase said amongst older black southerners.
Speak on It About 16 years ago I was sitting in service and Pastor Lance Watson was delivering an amazing sermon. The sermon was on relationships in general. Let’s just tell the truth and shame the devil. To be honest, I wasn’t in a relationship at the time, so this was one of those Sundays where I was looking straight forward but barely paying attention. That is….until he just happened
Trigger Warning What the heck is victim blaming anyway? So victim blaming is a term you hear from time to time.To be clear, when you say that you are doing it we mean that you are doing a bad thing. Yes we do.It means that you are unfairly ridiculing, shaming, name calling, harassing, and/or bullying, the alleged victim of a crime. What about Us? One might argue that people who more
Update! Several months ago, my mom asked me to buy her hair accessories similar to the ones that she once saw me wearing. I did. When I got there I asked for the money it cost me. Showed her the receipt and everything. (No, I don’t know what I was thinking. I do think I lost my mind though.) While visiting Mama, I went to buy some fried chicken from
Fannie Lou Hamer! Dr. Martin Luther King Jr! Rosa Parks! Angela Davis! Dr. Maya Angelou! Nina Simone! Malcolm X! Names you’ve heard. Just judging by who is mentioned during Black History Month, it might seem that, in order to make history one must make a name for oneself. That is how you make history. Right? Well my fellow Survivors I submit to you that though it may seem