How Survivors Knew About Bill Cosby before the Rest of the World

You can imagine that being my child means that you hear a whole lot of quotes, stories, lessons and such.  On repeat. So you better believe that when I make an error my son takes the opportunity to call it out. Like that  when someone cut me off in traffic and I let my usual semi-curse […]

How to Get Away with Contributing to the Culture of Silence around Sexual Violence on National Television like ABC 20/20

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE How to Get Away with Contributing to the Culture of Silence around Sexual Violence on National Television like ABC 20/20   Some viewers were shocked and appalled by ABC 20/20’s coverage of the 13 Survivors of convicted rapist Daniel Holztclaw who targeted black women while he worked as an Oklahoma City police […]

Explain Like I’m 5: What victims of domestic violence go through to get justice

I originally posted this on 9/3/15. On 5/16/2016 I aided a victim in DC and unfortunately this is still true.  Why doesn’t she leave?   This question annoys me to no end.   When you talk to someone about domestic violence you come to expect that question.   There are a lot of reasons.   But […]

The Truth About Suicide that No One is Telling You

On suicide awareness days it isn’t always the person suffering that we need to address. Not everyone is compassionate.   Not everyone is compassionate every day. I tell this story because not everyone survives to tell their story.  They are gone now and you don’t know that they reached out for help.  Only, “help” failed them […]

Are We Going to Leave Child Sexual Abuse Out of the Hip Hop History Books or Nah? by Tonya GJ Prince with Daniel Johnson

 Planet Shock The early 80’s. I was in elementary school. Rap was newish to those of us in central Virginia.  It was launching!  And, our parents hated it.  Back then corporations knew kids didn’t have a dime.  None of that coddling broke kids stuff.  Black radio played a few rap songs during certain times only. We dealt […]

Survivor Affirmation: I Love Myself because I am Worthy of Love

I love myself because I am worthy of love. I respect myself and the healing journey that I have taken to bring me to this day.  I am in the process of freeing myself from the shackles of past events. I rid myself of any shame or guilt. Any shame and guilt around what was […]

The Truth about Survivors of Sexual and Domestic Violence and Boundaries

The Very Idea People used to walk all over my boundaries.  And, I used to allow them to get away with it.  Wise counsel taught me that that was because I didn’t even know what a boundary was. I knew that land had fences and gates, but people?  I had no idea that people had […]

Affirmation: Silence the voice of self-criticism

I silence the voice of self-criticism. I don’t even hear self-criticism speak when it tries to get my attention. It doesn’t have anything good to say. All it does is paralyze me on the road to self-improvement. I will not allow self criticism to stop progress again. I stop critical thoughts from taking up valuable […]

To the Misguided, Misdirected, Mislead, and Misinformed, about Child Sexual Abuse

We thought they were right       Some of us were children when an older girl told us that it was normal to play with each other in a way that devastated us. Some of us were children when a group of older boys told us it was normal for boys and girls to play in a […]

We Gotta Ask Pregnant Moms Who Are Survivors Better Questions

When  a close relative, Morgan*,  announced her pregnancy our family was ecstatic!  I had to hear hear every detail. By this time my own pregnancy was like 15 years ago and I I was too young, sick, and terrified to appreciate the whole miracle.  Yes, I was reliving my pregnancy through her.  She didn’t mind.  […]

How the Hopeless Find Hope Again

My Granny had a saying, “You have got to reach up and git yo self, now.”  She always said it with such a stern voice.  I think because of that I missed the love that was within her message.  She would say this to you if you were outwardly distressed, angry, anxious, or having some […]

What the Church and People of Faith Can Do to Help Victims of Sexual and Domestic Violence

 Speak on It About 16 years ago I was sitting in service and Pastor Lance Watson was delivering an amazing sermon.  The sermon was on relationships in general.   Let’s just tell the truth and shame the devil. To be honest, I wasn’t in a relationship at the time, so this was one of those Sundays […]

Rape, Child Sexual Abuse, and Victim-Blaming: The Real Deal

Trigger Warning What the heck is victim blaming anyway?  So victim blaming is a term you hear from time to time.To be clear, when you say that you are doing it we mean that you are doing a bad thing. Yes we do.It means that you are unfairly ridiculing, shaming, name calling, harassing, and/or bullying, […]

No Gratitude, No Quilt: You May Never Fully Heal From Pain Without Gratitude

Update! Several months ago, my mom asked me to buy her hair accessories similar to the ones that she once saw me wearing.  I did.   When I got there I asked for the money it cost me. Showed her the receipt and everything. (No, I don’t know what I was thinking. I do think I […]

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