Purpose of Counseling in Abuse 1. Understand and obtain validation that the abuse was a violation. 2. Confront and acknowledge the pain and hurt of the abuse. 3. Increase awareness of your worth, personal value, and confidence, which may have been eroded by the sexual violence. 4. Overcome feelings of guilt and/or shame. 5. Recognize how sexual violence is impacting current relationships and make changes. 6. Deal with
So at the age of 13, I walked into a counselor’s office because I was told that I had to. Well, that is what you have to do when you tell authorities that you have been sexually violated. I had to get fixed because I guess I was broken. I could agree with that. I wanted to die. I tried to die. I would have died had the internet been invented
Consensual sex and sexual violence are two very different interactions between human beings. Sexual violence takes intentional study, experience, and knowledge to fully understand. “Chile, now how you sound?” That phrase would stop you in the middle of a sentence. Usually, it was a question from an elder. It meant you were out of order. Loud and wrong.Out of alignment.Whatever you just said, was incorrect.You, my dear, had some explaining
Okay, so the heat won this week.Most of you are aware that I have a chronic illness. Many of my readers do. Did it hit you hard too? Wow! Okay on Friday I like to leave off with uplifting things, and I will.But, I will leave you with reading material because it is too hot to do much else.So here are some great articles I found on the web. Intersectionality This word is interesting to
Trigger Warning So….I happened to watching a show that I enjoy immensely. It was “Greenleaf” on OWN. I love that show! Actually, I was tweet watching it. You know, where you are watching it on television while enjoying the comments on Twitter. Anyway, there was a scene between a teenage girl and a leader of the church. His character is a suspected serial pedophile who happens to be around the
We the people will never let you forget it. If you date more than one abusive partner, you already know, amongst your family and friends you are the one in the group who “doesn’t make good choices about relationships”. via GIPHY In society, we view people in abusive relationships as needing to be rescued. Fragile. Incapable. Now, there is truth to this. A smidge. People IN abusive relationships often need assistance.
I teach others how to treat me by how I treat myself I listen to the inner voice inside of me that tells me how valuable I am. It reminds me that I am worth the best of everything. How I treat myself dictates to others how I expect to be treated. Being respectful of my time means using it productively rather than wasting it. When I show others how
Peace, Be Still Chile I now know why my Granny, Grandma Monroe, Aunt, and Mama encouraged me to get quiet when a storm rolled in. We had to turn off all electricity, even if we were doing homework. We had to get still. I hated it. Until I didn’t. At some point I came to be fascinated by it. I would actually sit on the front porch. They would say,
Relieve Stress and Renew Focus on Demand It is not just me.It is difficult for many of us to focus at times like these.Tragic times.Times of crisis.Add a little stress to your life and you can it helps you to focus.That is actually the purpose of all those jitters we get before we have to make a speech. Too much overloads our system. As Survivors, we have to be cautious.
This week has been horrific! Some communities have come together, while others have retreated to what they consider their own corners. Surely it will take more than quotes to get us through. But, perhaps a word from people who have been through the wilderness before may help. Earlier today, I posted 36 quotes from Black activists to help us make it light our way through this night. You can find
People who pressure Survivors to tell a single story. via GIPHYEx: Black Survivors are not allowed to tell how slavery impacted our black families. Even though this is a core reason why generation after generation, in some family units, you can talk about any other social ill. However, you may never speak about rape.The damage still continues to this very day. Silence is a shield, a flawed one, but effective nonetheless. Besides,
1. Distractions I have my own sentiments about “triggers”. As a black woman, no one puts bumper guards around the world for me. So, I just am not accustomed to expecting them to be there because I endured multiple rapes for a significant portion of my childhood. However, when it comes to trauma, I do recognize, acknowledge, and respect the needs of others to have them in place. I
Did you know that some victims of child sexual abuse prefer to confide in teachers rather than parents? Even those from “good” loving homes? No one knew Up until today, few know this. My teachers were the first safe adults to learn that I was being raped by people my mother and family members both knew and trusted. Unfortunately, my homeroom teacher, Mrs. Hiliard* and my teacher who taught me