How to Start Talking to Young Children about Sexual Abuse

  My whole world shifted. As always, it was the fault of the mother. Yes, it was.  I have worked with victims/survivors of sexual violence for well over two decades. Recently my central focuses are child sexual abuse prevention & healthy response.  Actually, it was my mother who encouraged me to go in this direction. […]

Child against Child Abuse: The Most Overlooked Facts About Child Sexual Abuse Exposed by Experts

Sexual violence at the hands of children is just as destructive as any violation by an adult. It is hard being the victim of an older child.  In the back of our collective mind, our society still thinks that it is less harmless to be violated by a child than by an adult. I spoke […]

One of the Worst Pieces of Advice I Was Ever Given about Surviving Child Sexual Abuse

I am a voracious reader.  As early as I can recall my mother required that all three of her children read at least two books at a time daily.   I don’t recall being read to as a child. I only recall asking my mother how to pronounce multiple syllable words.  Over the years, I […]

8 Phrases of Comfort Parents Can Communicate to Children to Prevent Child Sexual Abuse

So every night my mother would come to tuck me in at night.   Every night without fail.  And every night without fail, this would happen. She would come to my bed,  look it over and say, “My goodness Tonya!  With all of these dolls and animals, where do you plan to sleep?” Listen, I would […]

An Open Secret for Ending the Cycle of Abusive Relationships and Finding the Healthy One

So yesterday I posted about ending the cycle of abusive relationships in a person’s personal life and finding the healthy one.   Well later in the day, I read this post from author Olevia Henderson.  Oh, it blessed my soul. It was also the perfect compliment to the post from yesterday.  She came in through […]

Change Begins with WE! Keeping the WE in WE Survive Abuse

Change Begins with WE! Keeping the WE in WE Survive Abuse

    Change must begin with WE Statistics are very important to social justice work.  BUT, stories are the real tools of change. With stories, one lone voice can change a person’s entire life.Most of my readers know that  Survivor Marilyn Van Debur Atler is one of the first persons to inspire me to speak […]

High Five from WE Survive: Neil Brick & Nancy Kilgore MS Making a Difference

Now last week WE posted the affirmation:  Survivor Affirmation: I Can Make a Difference! Well, WE like to show that Survivors do make a difference. WE make a difference every single day in countless ways. In this post, WE highlight two Survivors who are making a tremendous difference to help other victims/Survivors. Meet: Neil Brick […]

Survivor Affirmation: I Love Myself Because (video)

7 Ways Survivors Can Embrace Authenticity and Present Yourself Honestly:

  Love Me Hate Me Dear LORD, please Bless us ALL cause this is ME! People think that you should get over being a victim of violence because they think that nothing of value was taken.   Not like a car, large screen t.v., computer or anything valuable like that.  Nothing you can put down […]

10 Excellent Memoirs about the Sexual Violence Survivor’s Journey

Glad to see that we are in a season of listening to the powerful voices of Survivors.  Excellent!  What is most unfortunate is that there are so many out there.  This week I gathered up a cross section of a few memoirs that I have read about the healing journey.  Each one is truly authentic. […]

UPDATE: How Good Parents Miss Child Sexual Abuse and 5 Questions to Change That

  Update:  I published this during the summer months (2015). (Revised 2018) It spread across quite a few websites and I got a great deal of positive feedback. However, some parents & caretakers commented indirectly that certain portions of the post were unclear. I couldn’t let that stand.   The purpose of the post was […]

Why Does Society Make it Difficult for Survivors of Rape & Abuse to Come Forward? Part 1

The Truth About Rape & Distraction That No One is Talking About: Part 2

The Truth About Rape & Distraction That No One is Talking About: Part 1 So to continue, when we talk about rape the conversation always turns to ……how distracting and problematic it is for the rapist.   A large swath of our population takes to social media, and any available microphone to go on and […]

Why Does Society Make it Difficult for Survivors of Rape & Abuse to Come Forward? Part 2

The Truth About Rape & Distraction That No One is Talking About: Part 1

Read any comment section or social media platform on the topic of Nate Parker and his new film “The Birth of a Nation” and you will find the following phrases: “I find it funny how just when…” “How come none of this came out when….?” “Why all of a sudden….?” “You see the timing of […]

Survivor Affirmation: During Difficult Times My Intuition Speaks

I am able to hear my intuition speak during difficult times. During difficult times, I listen to my intuition and follow its advice. My intuition guides me to the answers to my issues.  It provides calm and clear instructions for action.  It is a powerful assistant on my journey to happiness. I know the difference […]

Part 2 Good Talk: 7 Ways Counseling Helps Survivors of Abuse to Heal

Purpose of Counseling in Abuse 1. Understand and obtain validation that the abuse was a violation.        2.  Confront and acknowledge the pain and hurt of the abuse. 3.  Increase awareness of your worth, personal value, and confidence, which may have been eroded by the sexual violence. 4.  Overcome feelings of guilt and/or shame. […]

Activism & Self Care: Tonya’s Favorite Things On the Web This Week

Okay, so the heat won this week.Most of you are aware that I have a chronic illness. Many of my readers do. Did it hit you hard too? Wow! Okay on Friday I like to leave off with uplifting things, and I will.But, I will leave you with reading material because it is too hot to do much else.So […]

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WE Survive Abuse