Child against Child Abuse: The Most Overlooked Facts About Child Sexual Abuse Exposed by Experts

Sexual violence at the hands of children is just as destructive as any violation by an adult. It is hard being the victim of an older child.  In the back of our collective mind, our society still thinks that it is less harmless to be violated by a child than by an adult. I spoke […]

One of the Worst Pieces of Advice I Was Ever Given about Surviving Child Sexual Abuse

I am a voracious reader.  As early as I can recall my mother required that all three of her children read at least two books at a time daily.   I don’t recall being read to as a child. I only recall asking my mother how to pronounce multiple syllable words.  Over the years, I […]

Change Begins with WE! Keeping the WE in WE Survive Abuse

Change Begins with WE! Keeping the WE in WE Survive Abuse

    Change must begin with WE Statistics are very important to social justice work.  BUT, stories are the real tools of change. With stories, one lone voice can change a person’s entire life.Most of my readers know that  Survivor Marilyn Van Debur Atler is one of the first persons to inspire me to speak […]

10 Excellent Memoirs about the Sexual Violence Survivor’s Journey

Glad to see that we are in a season of listening to the powerful voices of Survivors.  Excellent!  What is most unfortunate is that there are so many out there.  This week I gathered up a cross section of a few memoirs that I have read about the healing journey.  Each one is truly authentic. […]

Why Does Society Make it Difficult for Survivors of Rape & Abuse to Come Forward? Part 2

The Truth About Rape & Distraction That No One is Talking About: Part 1

Read any comment section or social media platform on the topic of Nate Parker and his new film “The Birth of a Nation” and you will find the following phrases: “I find it funny how just when…” “How come none of this came out when….?” “Why all of a sudden….?” “You see the timing of […]

That Time the Media Blamed & Shamed a Teenage Human Trafficking Victim

Consensual sex and sexual violence are two very different interactions between human beings.  Sexual violence takes intentional study, experience, and knowledge to fully understand. “Chile, now how you sound?” That phrase would stop you in the middle of a sentence.  Usually, it was a question from an elder. It meant you were out of order. […]

Are Children Capable of Attracting Rape?

Trigger Warning  So….I happened to watching a show that I enjoy immensely. It was “Greenleaf” on OWN. I love that show!  Actually, I was tweet watching it. You know, where you are watching it on television while enjoying the comments on Twitter. Anyway, there was a scene between a teenage girl and a leader of […]

Who Else Is a Reliable Source of Guilt and Shame In Survivors of Rape?

People who pressure Survivors to tell a single story. via GIPHYEx:  Black Survivors are not allowed to tell how slavery impacted our black families. Even though this is a core reason why generation after generation, in some family units, you can talk about any other social ill.  However, you may never speak about rape.The damage still […]

6 Ways Feminists Like Lena Dunham May Be Impeding Progress in the Fight Against Rape & Child Sexual Abuse

1. Distractions I have my own sentiments about “triggers”. As a black woman, no one puts bumper guards around the world for me.  So, I just am not accustomed to expecting them to be there because I endured multiple rapes for a significant portion of my childhood.  However, when it comes to trauma, I do […]

How Some Teachers Are on the Frontlines of Fighting Child Sexual Abuse

Did you know that some victims of child sexual abuse prefer to confide in teachers rather than parents? Even those from “good” loving homes? No one knew Up until today, few know this.  My teachers were the first safe adults to learn that I was being raped by people my mother and family members both […]

5 Effective Tips to Help Safe Father Figures Protect Loved Ones from Child Sexual Abuse

Safe father figures can be very effective at helping to prevent the spread the epidemic of child sexual abuse. Here are just five effective tips to help them get started today. Be aware that children can be victims of manipulation tactics.  One common tactic used by child sexual abusers involves pushing away the safe father […]

How Survivors Find Their Voices and Help Others: Shanika Sealy

Survivors of oppression and/or violence are the most inspiring people I that I have encountered in life!Creating ways to survive and finding their own voices when everyone around them; friends, foe, and allies, want them to keep silent.I was honored to interview Survivor Shanika Sealy. She found her voice in spite of the pressure to […]

How to Get Your Children Summer Ready to Avoid Sex Offenders

Summer Vacation Can Be Dangerous  Is it summer again already?This time of year concerns me.I can tell you from personal experience that predators who prey on children love this time of year.  Everyone is looking for new arrangements for children who used to be in school all day. Single moms, grandparents, athletic groups, camps, faith group […]

How Survivors Knew About Bill Cosby before the Rest of the World

You can imagine that being my child means that you hear a whole lot of quotes, stories, lessons and such.  On repeat. So you better believe that when I make an error my son takes the opportunity to call it out. Like that  when someone cut me off in traffic and I let my usual semi-curse […]

How to Get Away with Contributing to the Culture of Silence around Sexual Violence on National Television like ABC 20/20

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE How to Get Away with Contributing to the Culture of Silence around Sexual Violence on National Television like ABC 20/20   Some viewers were shocked and appalled by ABC 20/20’s coverage of the 13 Survivors of convicted rapist Daniel Holztclaw who targeted black women while he worked as an Oklahoma City police […]

Explain Like I’m 5: What victims of domestic violence go through to get justice

I originally posted this on 9/3/15. On 5/16/2016 I aided a victim in DC and unfortunately this is still true.  Why doesn’t she leave?   This question annoys me to no end.   When you talk to someone about domestic violence you come to expect that question.   There are a lot of reasons.   But […]

WE Survive Abuse

Enjoy this blog? Please spread the word :)