Part 1: Good Talk: How Society Creates Obstacles to Healing

 So at the age of 13, I walked into a counselor’s office because I was told that I had to.   Well, that is what you have to do when you tell authorities that you have been sexually violated.   I had to get fixed because I guess I was broken.  I could agree with […]

6 Ways Feminists Like Lena Dunham May Be Impeding Progress in the Fight Against Rape & Child Sexual Abuse

1. Distractions I have my own sentiments about “triggers”. As a black woman, no one puts bumper guards around the world for me.  So, I just am not accustomed to expecting them to be there because I endured multiple rapes for a significant portion of my childhood.  However, when it comes to trauma, I do […]

5 Effective Tips to Help Safe Father Figures Protect Loved Ones from Child Sexual Abuse

Safe father figures can be very effective at helping to prevent the spread the epidemic of child sexual abuse. Here are just five effective tips to help them get started today. Be aware that children can be victims of manipulation tactics.  One common tactic used by child sexual abusers involves pushing away the safe father […]

How to Get Your Children Summer Ready to Avoid Sex Offenders

Summer Vacation Can Be Dangerous  Is it summer again already?This time of year concerns me.I can tell you from personal experience that predators who prey on children love this time of year.  Everyone is looking for new arrangements for children who used to be in school all day. Single moms, grandparents, athletic groups, camps, faith group […]

The Truth About Suicide that No One is Telling You

On suicide awareness days it isn’t always the person suffering that we need to address. Not everyone is compassionate.   Not everyone is compassionate every day. I tell this story because not everyone survives to tell their story.  They are gone now and you don’t know that they reached out for help.  Only, “help” failed them […]

To the Misguided, Misdirected, Mislead, and Misinformed, about Child Sexual Abuse

We thought they were right       Some of us were children when an older girl told us that it was normal to play with each other in a way that devastated us. Some of us were children when a group of older boys told us it was normal for boys and girls to play in a […]

What the Church and People of Faith Can Do to Help Victims of Sexual and Domestic Violence

 Speak on It About 16 years ago I was sitting in service and Pastor Lance Watson was delivering an amazing sermon.  The sermon was on relationships in general.   Let’s just tell the truth and shame the devil. To be honest, I wasn’t in a relationship at the time, so this was one of those Sundays […]

Rape, Child Sexual Abuse, and Victim-Blaming: The Real Deal

Trigger Warning What the heck is victim blaming anyway?  So victim blaming is a term you hear from time to time.To be clear, when you say that you are doing it we mean that you are doing a bad thing. Yes we do.It means that you are unfairly ridiculing, shaming, name calling, harassing, and/or bullying, […]

How Survivors of Sexual & Domestic Violence Can Make History

Fannie Lou Hamer! Dr. Martin Luther King Jr! Rosa Parks! Angela Davis! Dr. Maya Angelou! Nina Simone! Malcolm X! Names you’ve heard.    Just judging by who is mentioned during Black History Month, it might seem that, in order to make history one must make a name for oneself.    That is how you make […]

Silent Lies: Why Black Women Must Continue to Lead the Resistance

Silent Lies: Why Black Women Must Continue to Lead the Resistance

“I learned how to stand up for myself from the civil rights movement. We learned from you.”   Original post appeared 7/22/15 (updated) Tonya, did you know?   Those were the words spoken to me by the then reigning Ms. Wheelchair VA many, many years ago.    She and I had just presented a workshop together.  […]

Survivors Breaking the Rules and Telling the Truth about Healing

Survivors Breaking the Rules and Telling the Truth about Healing

Today, my mind is tough, resilient, empathetic, compassionate, kind, loving, strategic, and wise. My physical health is a mess.  I have my experiences with rape as a child to thank for that. Every time that I see the headlines panicking about the next health crisis that is out of control I do wonder if they […]

Another Definition of Living in the Moment for Survivors

Last night there was another awards show in Hollywood.  Don’t we love those?  Even if we don’t watch them, we just love looking at the fashions.  That whole Best and Worst list.  The hairstyles.  Jewelry.  Most of us will never buy it, but it is nice to see.Red carpet shopping.  Well, last night, an actress won […]

What Racists and Child Rape Apologists Have in Common

What Racists and Child Rape Apologists Have in Common

Seems like all you have to do is make one simple statement:   The problem of black men who prey upon black  girls/boys must be discussed and addressed.   Just that statement forces hell to come undone.   I don’t think that the child rape apologists realize just how much they have in common with […]

Auto Draft

Welcome the Week With Wisdom: 22 Quotes on Justice

Everyday silence harvests its victims. Silence is a mortal illness. ~Natalia Ginzberg Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. ~Winston Churchill When I liberate others, I liberate myself. ~Fannie Lou Hamer Law and justice are not always the same. ~Gloria Steinem The […]

Savvy Safety Tips Survivors Want Parents to Know this Holiday Season

Savvy Safety Tips Survivors Want Parents to Know this Holiday Season

During the holidays children might visit family and friends.   Friends and family might come over to visit. They haven’t seen the children in a long time. We think nothing of it when they rush over to hug and perhaps kiss the children.   But wait. Do the kids want to be hugged and kissed? […]

Sexual Violence Against Males: No Video, No Witnesses, and It IS Killing Them

So last night I was twitter watching one of my favorite shows. Yep, it is a crime show.     You can read about the story here: What I want to talk about is the reaction on social media. **Emotions High As Former Bloomfield Football Player Sentenced In Fatal Stabbing Myths about Teen Boys and Sexual […]

WE Survive Abuse

Enjoy this blog? Please spread the word :)