Trigger Warning So….I happened to watching a show that I enjoy immensely. It was “Greenleaf” on OWN. I love that show! Actually, I was tweet watching it. You know, where you are watching it on television while enjoying the comments on Twitter. Anyway, there was a scene between a teenage girl and a leader of the church. His character is a suspected serial pedophile who happens to be around the
This week has been horrific! Some communities have come together, while others have retreated to what they consider their own corners. Surely it will take more than quotes to get us through. But, perhaps a word from people who have been through the wilderness before may help. Earlier today, I posted 36 quotes from Black activists to help us make it light our way through this night. You can find
People who pressure Survivors to tell a single story. via GIPHYEx: Black Survivors are not allowed to tell how slavery impacted our black families. Even though this is a core reason why generation after generation, in some family units, you can talk about any other social ill. However, you may never speak about rape.The damage still continues to this very day. Silence is a shield, a flawed one, but effective nonetheless. Besides,
Did you know that some victims of child sexual abuse prefer to confide in teachers rather than parents? Even those from “good” loving homes? No one knew Up until today, few know this. My teachers were the first safe adults to learn that I was being raped by people my mother and family members both knew and trusted. Unfortunately, my homeroom teacher, Mrs. Hiliard* and my teacher who taught me
I Tried One day years ago I was trying to make it through a challenge. In order to get through it I came up with a solution. I was going to flood my mind with positive words. I chose to listen to my pastor’s sermons every time that I was in the car, which happened to be for long periods of time back then. It wasn’t working. The
I value wise counseling. In times of confusion, wise words enable me to stay grounded like the anchor on a ship. Instead of being swayed by every wind that comes my way, I seek the advice of experienced people. Seeking wisdom keeps me from wandering in the vast ocean of opportunities. I listen to my trusted advisers and consider their advice. I use their ideas as a springboard for forming my
On suicide awareness days it isn’t always the person suffering that we need to address. Not everyone is compassionate. Not everyone is compassionate every day. I tell this story because not everyone survives to tell their story. They are gone now and you don’t know that they reached out for help. Only, “help” failed them that day. I’ll never forget the day that I asked someone to drop me off
Planet Shock The early 80’s. I was in elementary school. Rap was newish to those of us in central Virginia. It was launching! And, our parents hated it. Back then corporations knew kids didn’t have a dime. None of that coddling broke kids stuff. Black radio played a few rap songs during certain times only. We dealt with it. Parents: “What about Michael Jackson?” Us: Michael Jackson is still fresh. He was either
The Very Idea People used to walk all over my boundaries. And, I used to allow them to get away with it. Wise counsel taught me that that was because I didn’t even know what a boundary was. I knew that land had fences and gates, but people? I had no idea that people had boundaries, territory, personal space. Even more, I didn’t know that I was entitled to this.
I am my own unique self – special, creative, and wonderful. No one in the entire universe is like me. My Creator made me with a special assignment in mind. I am special, creative, and wonderful. When I remember this it helps me strive to reach my full potential. Of all the people in the world, I am the only one with my specific and exact combination. I am a
I silence the voice of self-criticism. I don’t even hear self-criticism speak when it tries to get my attention. It doesn’t have anything good to say. All it does is paralyze me on the road to self-improvement. I will not allow self criticism to stop progress again. I stop critical thoughts from taking up valuable space in my mind. I expose self-criticism when it comes disguised as self-reflection or self-improvement.
When a close relative, Morgan*, announced her pregnancy our family was ecstatic! I had to hear hear every detail. By this time my own pregnancy was like 15 years ago and I I was too young, sick, and terrified to appreciate the whole miracle. Yes, I was reliving my pregnancy through her. She didn’t mind. I checked. I know I can get bossy and not in a good way all
My Granny had a saying, “You have got to reach up and git yo self, now.” She always said it with such a stern voice. I think because of that I missed the love that was within her message. She would say this to you if you were outwardly distressed, angry, anxious, or having some sort of breakdown. In fact, it was a common phrase said amongst older black southerners.