Self-doubt. I think that one reason that some people can’t understand sexual violence is they don’t understand just how complicated it really is. Some people think that after the physical assault, you should be emotionally hurt for a bit maybe. But you’ll be fine, or rather you should be. But WE know that sexual abuse & rape leaves you with scars that can last for a very long time.
Child sexual violence
30 years ago a sad, lonely, depressed, fragile 13-year old girl announced to a living room holding a few of her closest relatives in it that she was molested by two people. Actually it was three, but since the first one was a teenager she didn’t know that he counted as well. That 13-year-old was me. Molested. I just got that word from a television movie called, “Something about Amelia.” Actually
I know. This time of year the kids are here, there, and everywhere. No school means they have a lot of time on their hands. Mama can we go…..? Dad can we go……? I don’t mean to terrify you even more than you already are but…. Here are the bigger questions? Is your child going to play with another child where a sex offender happens to reside with another adult?
So, I met this beautiful woman, Delores.You know she is the only person I have ever come across who hates trees.Who hates trees?Well to her, trees represent pain.When she was a little girl if she did something wrong there was a penalty. She had to go out into the yard and pull off a skinny branch from one of the trees in the yard. Then take that skinny branch to
Before I typed this, I stared at the blinking cursor for quite some time. A whole lot longer than it usually takes me. I still can’t believe how hard it is to talk about. As difficult as child sexual abuse is to talk about, I have to admit that it is easier when the person who abused you is an adult male. That is the template. That is only part of
Oh come on. Surely someone must be. I mean with all of these defenders there has to be.Just this week yet another high profile celebrity apologized for abusing “underage” girls. (PR speak for kids.)And there it was. Right on time. The swift embrace of child sexual abusers.Picture the biblical story of the Prodigal son. When rapists and/or abusers come forward people seem to want to break out words like:“forgiveness”“well, at least”“sounds
The Pied PiperWhen I was a kid, there was a “children’s story” that scared me to death.The Pied Piper was a story based on a legend about the disappearance of departure or death of nearly all of the children from a town in Germany during the Middle Ages.He was a charismatic figure who was hired by the mayor of a small town to drive out the rats who had overrun the town.
“It’s handled!”I love when Olivia says this!For those who don’t know. Olivia is Olivia Pope. On Thursdays my entire home must go silent. All emergencies must be rescheduled to a more convenient time.Olivia Pope is the lead fictional character on the ABC television show Scandal. She is based on real life crisis manager Judy Smith.She is a fixer. She fixes the lives of others when they screw them up. Usually politically.But she is like
Sarah Palin was correct.She and I may never come to this intersection again. Who knows if we’ll ever agree on anything in the years to come? We do today.I am a Survivor of multiple perpetrators of child sexual abuse. I wasn’t first generation. I worked my son’s whole childhood to protect him from suffering. There were close calls, but faith, family, folks, and fight saved him.Y’all know I brought those
Re: Rape, sexual violence, molestation, and child sexual abuseI can very easily recall my last suicide attempt.It was years ago, but my mind always remembers it like it was just the other day or something.I remember coming home from the hospital. They had pumped my stomach, again. I was a burning furnace.I was angry. I had been trying to end my suffering here on this earth since I was a child.
Someone once gave me this well-meaning parenting advice once:“Always teach children to respect their elders by teaching them to refer to adults as “Mr.” and “Ms.” I get the spirit of this advice.Respect for elders & adults were huge in my mom’s home. We were raised to show ALL adults a high level of respect. No questions asked.Unfortunately, where silence AND limited questions co-exist, there is usually someone suffering. When I hear
Last May was one of the happiest days of my entire life.My son graduated from high school. I sat there among the other proud family members as the band played a medley of inspirational tunes. I was sitting with just a portion of the village that helped me raise him.I always thought that when this day came I would be sobbing. People around me would wonder if I was confused.
They say “silence is golden”. No, it isn’t, it’s tarnished and rusty on the edges. At least when it comes to abuse it is. Allow me to show my work: Backstory: A few months ago I was visiting a family member. One day when my son was about 7, he was walking home from school when a stranger rode up beside him in a car and told him that his “dad” sent