Survivor Affirmation: I Love Myself because I am Worthy of Love

I love myself because I am worthy of love. I respect myself and the healing journey that I have taken to bring me to this day.  I am in the process of freeing myself from the shackles of past events. I rid myself of any shame or guilt. Any shame and guilt around what was […]

The Truth about Survivors of Sexual and Domestic Violence and Boundaries

The Very Idea People used to walk all over my boundaries.  And, I used to allow them to get away with it.  Wise counsel taught me that that was because I didn’t even know what a boundary was. I knew that land had fences and gates, but people?  I had no idea that people had […]

To the Misguided, Misdirected, Mislead, and Misinformed, about Child Sexual Abuse

We thought they were right       Some of us were children when an older girl told us that it was normal to play with each other in a way that devastated us. Some of us were children when a group of older boys told us it was normal for boys and girls to play in a […]

We Gotta Ask Pregnant Moms Who Are Survivors Better Questions

When  a close relative, Morgan*,  announced her pregnancy our family was ecstatic!  I had to hear hear every detail. By this time my own pregnancy was like 15 years ago and I I was too young, sick, and terrified to appreciate the whole miracle.  Yes, I was reliving my pregnancy through her.  She didn’t mind.  […]

How the Hopeless Find Hope Again

My Granny had a saying, “You have got to reach up and git yo self, now.”  She always said it with such a stern voice.  I think because of that I missed the love that was within her message.  She would say this to you if you were outwardly distressed, angry, anxious, or having some […]

What the Church and People of Faith Can Do to Help Victims of Sexual and Domestic Violence

 Speak on It About 16 years ago I was sitting in service and Pastor Lance Watson was delivering an amazing sermon.  The sermon was on relationships in general.   Let’s just tell the truth and shame the devil. To be honest, I wasn’t in a relationship at the time, so this was one of those Sundays […]

Rape, Child Sexual Abuse, and Victim-Blaming: The Real Deal

Trigger Warning What the heck is victim blaming anyway?  So victim blaming is a term you hear from time to time.To be clear, when you say that you are doing it we mean that you are doing a bad thing. Yes we do.It means that you are unfairly ridiculing, shaming, name calling, harassing, and/or bullying, […]

No Gratitude, No Quilt: You May Never Fully Heal From Pain Without Gratitude

Update! Several months ago, my mom asked me to buy her hair accessories similar to the ones that she once saw me wearing.  I did.   When I got there I asked for the money it cost me. Showed her the receipt and everything. (No, I don’t know what I was thinking. I do think I […]

How Survivors of Sexual & Domestic Violence Can Make History

Fannie Lou Hamer! Dr. Martin Luther King Jr! Rosa Parks! Angela Davis! Dr. Maya Angelou! Nina Simone! Malcolm X! Names you’ve heard.    Just judging by who is mentioned during Black History Month, it might seem that, in order to make history one must make a name for oneself.    That is how you make […]

I Will Survive: How Survivor Gloria Gaynor Keeps Inspiring Decades After the Release of Grammy Winning Song

At First I Was… When we have been wounded we must heal.   To do that, I think we all use a combination of tools.  Some of them are good for us.  Some of them ain’t, okay. Some days, I recall the alarm disrupting my sleep, and the sun rudely throwing light into my bedroom.  I […]

Caught in the Hive: The Youth Lead

Online Web Conference: Building a Movement to End Child Sexual Abuse                          Sexual Violence Zachary Miller wants to give hope to other survivors of child sexual abuse Congratulations to this courageous young Survivor! Boys’ club ‘a sitting duck’ for child sexual abuse, Anglican ex-priest and […]

Survivors Breaking the Rules and Telling the Truth about Healing

Survivors Breaking the Rules and Telling the Truth about Healing

Today, my mind is tough, resilient, empathetic, compassionate, kind, loving, strategic, and wise. My physical health is a mess.  I have my experiences with rape as a child to thank for that. Every time that I see the headlines panicking about the next health crisis that is out of control I do wonder if they […]

From All Angles: 4 Ways Survivor Speakers Can Help Folks Heal, Know, & Grow

From All Angles: 4 Ways Survivor Speakers Can Help Folks Heal, Know, & Grow

Domestic and Sexual Violence are tough issues to discuss.  BUT, thankfully, speakers have quite a few options for approaching the topic.  In this blog post, I just list four.   Trust me, there are so many styles and tools at a speaker’s disposal.  You are only limited by the ceiling of your creativity, and your courage.  […]

Caught In the Hive: Survivor Issues from Around the Web

Financial Cost of Abuse Stopabusecampaign.com: The Cost of Child Sexual Abuse:  As expensive as child sexual abuse is for the Catholic church, it’s more expensive for taxpayers MaleSurvivor.org:  Child Abuse and Neglect Cost the U.S. $124 Billion dollars. Trafficking ArkofHopeforChildren.org: Child Sex Trade in America Celebrity/Fame  TheAtlantic.com:  Bill Cosby and His Enablers Survivor Issues Survivors are […]

Another Definition of Living in the Moment for Survivors

Last night there was another awards show in Hollywood.  Don’t we love those?  Even if we don’t watch them, we just love looking at the fashions.  That whole Best and Worst list.  The hairstyles.  Jewelry.  Most of us will never buy it, but it is nice to see.Red carpet shopping.  Well, last night, an actress won […]

Celebrities Called on the Carpet:  WE Survive Abuse 5 Best Posts of 2015

Celebrities Called on the Carpet: WE Survive Abuse 5 Best Posts of 2015

I don’t mind addressing celebrities in relation to  issues of domestic & sexual violence who use their platforms to shame, intimidate, or otherwise bully alleged and/or actual victims. I don’t like that there is a necessity for it in this society.  I don’t like that other groups and organizations remain selectively silent about some celebrities while […]

WE Survive Abuse

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