Why Some Victims of Rape and Abuse Say It Never Happened 1

Why Some Victims of Rape and Abuse Say It Never Happened

  After the loss When a victim of sexual violence reports that someone raped them they might want to press charges.  At first.But then…….As time goes on they may begin to pull away and become less cooperative.With everyone.Medical professionals. Law enforcement. Prosecution. Even advocates. And, even their own friends & family.DoubtSo because of this,  somewhere […]

Why Does Society Make it Difficult for Survivors of Rape & Abuse to Come Forward? Part 2

The Truth About Rape & Distraction That No One is Talking About: Part 1

Read any comment section or social media platform on the topic of Nate Parker and his new film “The Birth of a Nation” and you will find the following phrases: “I find it funny how just when…” “How come none of this came out when….?” “Why all of a sudden….?” “You see the timing of […]

Are Children Capable of Attracting Rape?

Trigger Warning  So….I happened to watching a show that I enjoy immensely. It was “Greenleaf” on OWN. I love that show!  Actually, I was tweet watching it. You know, where you are watching it on television while enjoying the comments on Twitter. Anyway, there was a scene between a teenage girl and a leader of […]

Explain Like I’m 5: What victims of domestic violence go through to get justice

I originally posted this on 9/3/15. On 5/16/2016 I aided a victim in DC and unfortunately this is still true.  Why doesn’t she leave?   This question annoys me to no end.   When you talk to someone about domestic violence you come to expect that question.   There are a lot of reasons.   But […]

Rape, Child Sexual Abuse, and Victim-Blaming: The Real Deal

Trigger Warning What the heck is victim blaming anyway?  So victim blaming is a term you hear from time to time.To be clear, when you say that you are doing it we mean that you are doing a bad thing. Yes we do.It means that you are unfairly ridiculing, shaming, name calling, harassing, and/or bullying, […]

Welcome the Week with Wisdom: Quotes on Stories & Writing to Nourish Survivors

📖“The single story creates stereotypes, and the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story.” ~Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie📖“I think writing really helps you heal yourself. I think if you write long enough, you will be a healthy person. ~Alice Walker🕮 If […]

Tonya’s Top Picks for Best Sexual & Domestic Violence Storytelling for Survivors

One of my best writing teachers taught me a great lesson.   Read, read, read.  Write, write, write. The best way to learn to write is to study the story telling skills of others.   Like building a house.  Now, we take our materials and build on top of that.  How about we come up […]

Survivors Have the Right to Tell Their Stories

SilenceYou have the right to remain silent. I learned about the Miranda rights case in my 8th grade Civics class.Great lesson. Remaining silent can actually keep you out of prison. Got it.That was pretty easy. That went right along with the family’s commandment. “Don’t put all your business in the street.”  SpeakingBut who teaches when to speak? Who teaches us how to […]

Is this the Real Truth about Sexual Violence that No One Wants to Say Out Loud

Okay. True stuff.   I have a condition called fibromyalgia.   I know. Most people have never heard of it, but it has been known about for centuries.  All I can tell you is I am in physical pain 24/7 365.  I am exhausted, etc. etc. etc. But I am also happy, filled with joy, love, hope, […]

Why I am So Thankful for the Sacrifices that Black Folks are Making to Fight Sexual Violence

Why I am So Thankful for the Sacrifices that Black Folks are Making to Fight Sexual Violence

It stings.  It burns. It hurts like hell.  You will never forget the pain.  All wounds must be thoroughly cleaned in order to effectively heal. When I was a kid I cut my left knee on a metal sliding board. I remember screaming like somebody sliced my knee off.  The gash was no bigger than […]