Mail Order Domestic Violence

(revised from original post 7/1/15) After the RiceLila married Jack. Things were fairy tale for a long time. And then the abuse started. Then it stopped. Then it never stopped. Lila Lila was gorgeous. In a way that was genuinely unforgettable. Meet her one time and you would remember both her name and face forever. […]

Who is Hosting the 2015 Awards Ceremony for Rapists and Abusers

Oh come on.  Surely someone must be.  I mean with all of these defenders there has to be.Just this week yet another high profile celebrity apologized for abusing “underage” girls.  (PR speak for kids.)And there it was. Right on time.  The swift embrace of child sexual abusers.Picture the biblical story of the Prodigal son. When rapists […]

How We Are Getting Played by Rapists & Abusers

The Pied PiperWhen I was a kid, there was a “children’s story” that scared me to death.The Pied Piper was a story based on a legend about the disappearance of departure or death of nearly all of the children from a town in Germany during the Middle Ages.He was a charismatic figure who was hired by the […]

Survivors of Abuse and Baggage Handling

“It’s handled!”I love when Olivia says this!For those who don’t know. Olivia is Olivia Pope. On Thursdays my entire home must go silent. All emergencies must be rescheduled to a more convenient time.Olivia Pope is the lead fictional character on the ABC television show Scandal. She is based on real life crisis manager Judy Smith.She is a fixer. She […]

This is Why Survivors Can’t Have Nice Things..Sarah Palin was Right Y’all

Sarah Palin was correct.She and I may never come to this intersection again. Who knows if we’ll ever agree on anything in the years to come? We do today.I am a Survivor of multiple perpetrators of child sexual abuse. I wasn’t first generation. I worked my son’s whole childhood to protect him from suffering. There […]

How What We Don’t Know About Suicide is Killing People

According to the CDC:   In 2013 (the most recent year for which full data are available), 41,149 suicides were reported, making suicide the 10th leading cause of death for Americans. In that year, someone in the country died by suicide every 12.9 minutes.I read an article online about a young accomplished woman who died of […]

An Open Letter to My Fellow Christians about Sex Abuse

Re: Rape, sexual violence, molestation, and child sexual abuseI can very easily recall my last suicide attempt.It was years ago, but my mind always remembers it like it was just the other day or something.I remember coming home from the hospital. They had pumped my stomach, again. I was a burning furnace.I was angry. I had […]

The Truth about Child Sexual Abuse & Respect

Someone once gave me this well-meaning parenting advice once:“Always teach children to respect their elders by teaching them to refer to adults as “Mr.” and “Ms.” I get the spirit of this advice.Respect for elders & adults were huge in my mom’s home. We were raised to show ALL adults a high level of respect. No […]

The Faux Fight Against Child Sex Abuse

Last May was one of the happiest days of my entire life.My son graduated from high school. I sat there among the other proud family members as the band played a medley of inspirational tunes. I was sitting with just a portion of the village that helped me raise him.I always thought that when this […]

Quotes on Overcoming Pain and Suffering for Survivors of Sexual Violence

The journey of healing from sexual violence and the pain that you stumble upon along the way is so hard for others to understand.  You can’t even come up with a  description. Sometimes it can feel as if you are speaking a language that no one else seems fluent in.  After much struggle, I have come to believe that it is okay […]

Bye Misery: More Hope in Survivor memoirs

I don’t want to go to therapy sessions with people.I canceled quite a few of my own back in the day.  Because therapy, if you’re doing it right, isn’t just complaining about who done ya wrong.  It is the hardest thing that you will ever have to do in life. I promise you.I would read those books because […]

Why Other People’s forgiveness may not be for you

I’m concerned. I have been watching a reality television show about a popular gospel group. I know that people learn lessons from television. I do too.  To an extent. Y’all do know that taking advice from other people about their situations is like taking other people’s prescription medications.  It might not always work.  You need […]

That time When Rolling Stone Schooled Us about Sexual Violence

  I know. We got schooled. Rolling Stone did a huge piece about sexual assault on UVA’s campus. Allegedly, members of a fraternity attacked a female student.  Now Rolling Stone is retracting the story. Well, I  sure hope that we all learned some lessons. The right ones though. Otherwise, we’ll be repeating this thing over again and […]

Survivor Affirmation: Find Today’s Blessing

As a Survivor I understand. If you want advice about how to have a great day folks have just the advice for you.  People say, “Get over it” Of course they don’t understand.  It isn’t that we can’t let go of the past.  The past won’t let us go.  It intrudes upon even our best […]

5 Reasons Why the Silence Around Abuse Isn’t Golden

They say “silence is golden”.  No, it isn’t, it’s tarnished and rusty on the edges.  At least when it comes to abuse it is. Allow me to show my work: Backstory: A few months ago I was visiting a family member.  One day when my son was about 7, he was walking home from school when a […]

WE Survive Abuse
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