In a nutshell, counselors advised me that the secrets that I was keeping were literally clogging my throat.
Even though I spoke out at 13, I had only revealed pieces of my experience. This is common with Survivors. Initially, we may only give some of the details of our experience.
One reason is we are not sure how the person (s) that we are speaking to will receive what we have to say. Sometimes the truth….is hideous. Not everyone can handle that.
The Normal Mask
So after some years of counseling, I put on the normal mask.
I smiled and laughed at all the right times.
I did the whole, “Yeah, that was then but this is now.”
“I’m over it”
“I’m moving on with my life now”
And, people verbally and non-verbally encouraged me to “get over it”.
Yeah, I tried that. It almost killed me.
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