That Time the Media Blamed & Shamed a Teenage Human Trafficking Victim

Consensual sex and sexual violence are two very different interactions between human beings.  Sexual violence takes intentional study, experience, and knowledge to fully understand. “Chile, now how you sound?” That phrase would stop you in the middle of a sentence.  Usually, it was a question from an elder. It meant you were out of order. […]

Activism & Self Care: Tonya’s Favorite Things On the Web This Week

Okay, so the heat won this week.Most of you are aware that I have a chronic illness. Many of my readers do. Did it hit you hard too? Wow! Okay on Friday I like to leave off with uplifting things, and I will.But, I will leave you with reading material because it is too hot to do much else.So […]

Are Children Capable of Attracting Rape?

Trigger Warning  So….I happened to watching a show that I enjoy immensely. It was “Greenleaf” on OWN. I love that show!  Actually, I was tweet watching it. You know, where you are watching it on television while enjoying the comments on Twitter. Anyway, there was a scene between a teenage girl and a leader of […]

Survivor Lessons on Emotional Abuse: Moving Beyond the Hurt But Saving the Lessons

We the people will never let you forget it. If you date more than one abusive partner, you already know, amongst your family and friends you are the one in the group who “doesn’t make good choices about relationships”.  via GIPHY In society, we view people in abusive relationships as needing to be rescued. Fragile. Incapable. […]

24 More Phrases People Use to Try to Silence Survivors of Sexual Violence

Peace, Be Still Chile  I now know why my Granny, Grandma Monroe, Aunt, and Mama encouraged me to get quiet when a storm rolled in.   We had to turn off all electricity, even if we were doing homework. We had to get still. I hated it. Until I didn’t.   At some point I came to […]

36 Quotes by Black Activists to Get Us Through the Night

This week has been horrific! Some communities have come together, while others have retreated to what they consider their own corners.  Surely it will take more than quotes to get us through.  But, perhaps a word from people who have been through the wilderness before may help. Earlier today, I posted  36 quotes from Black […]

Who Else Is a Reliable Source of Guilt and Shame In Survivors of Rape?

People who pressure Survivors to tell a single story. via GIPHYEx:  Black Survivors are not allowed to tell how slavery impacted our black families. Even though this is a core reason why generation after generation, in some family units, you can talk about any other social ill.  However, you may never speak about rape.The damage still […]

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WE Survive Abuse