6 Ways Feminists Like Lena Dunham May Be Impeding Progress in the Fight Against Rape & Child Sexual Abuse

1. Distractions I have my own sentiments about “triggers”. As a black woman, no one puts bumper guards around the world for me. 
So, I just am not accustomed to expecting them to be there because I endured multiple rapes for a significant portion of my childhood. 
However, when it comes to trauma, I do recognize, acknowledge, and respect the needs of others to have them in place.   
I do have a problem when some claims the “trigger” card. Now everyone starts to  debate over “triggers”. 

Can we meet to focus on sexual violence against children one day? 
How about children sexually abused by older children? 
Children sexually abused by siblings?
2.     Distractions & Misinterpretation  
People simply can’t seem to pay attention or stay focused on statistics about children being abused. 
They have become de-sensitized to them.   
We post them on social media, put them on billboards, brochures, mugs, nail files, and ink pens. IF people react at all it is with half a shrug. 
 When a controversial celebrity says something, now people dig statistics out of nowhere and throw them at one another. 
Only they don’t read the fine print. They don’t understand the sociology behind the numbers. The stories behind the numbers. The people behind the numbers.  
And, they don’t care. They are too busy throwing numbers that they have very little understanding of. 

Who cares? 

I do! Millions of us do because the children are the ones who suffer from our distraction.
We need not have these “rape contests” with statistics.

There are rapists in every area of society. 
There are victims in every area of society.
3.    Limiting Focus  
We need to remember that rape occurs in every area of society. For instance, I adamantly support continued efforts on campus.   
That said, we must keep in mind that not everyone attends college. Not everyone goes to college right out of high school.

Youth victims: are in , afterschool programs, vacation bible school, summer camps, every type of school that there is, other religious activities, extracurricular activities, backyards, homes etc.
 

Young adult victims: are serving in the military, in trade school, at work, walking down streets in nice neighborhoods where crime doesn’t usually happen, using public transportation, at home, etc.

Seniors: are at home, in assisted living centers, at work, walking down streets in nice neighborhoods where crime doesn’t usually happen, using public transportation, utilizing the services of home care aids etc.

Adults: nearly all of the above! (include adults with disabilities)

4.    Selective Silence Along those same lines, mainstream advocates and activists in this work continue to be silent on issues that impact both minority victims and males. 
At the same time, strong negative language is being directed against black male suspects and/or convicted offenders. This is extremely harmful given the history in this country.

Ex: Someone who referred to herself as an “intersectional feminist” recently wrote that Bill Cosby and/or Kanye West were monsters. She didn’t like Kanye West’s new controversial video.

Shrug. 

I don’t either. I haven’t been a fan for years. I was a fan for one song. 

My response to her was that as long as she was as passionate about Lena Dunham or Polanski we were good. 

She took great offense to my comment.
Accusations. 
Assumptions. 
Long rant…….
I wasn’t surprised. Do you know how long many of us have been serving along “allies”?

Me (to myself): So, the answer is most likely…..”no“.

I wasn’t upset about her opinion.  Of course, she has every right to express it. 
My concern is that when you say things like that, you sound indistinguishable from those who are proud to be enemies of unity, progress, and love. Are you an ally or an enemy?

When black men and women are mutilated and shot down in ways that are against the law to kill animals, the people who get away with it say that we appeared to be like “monsters” with super human strength.

Sadly, Emmitt Till comes to mind. 
Unfortunately, there are scores of Emmitt Tills in just about every region. 
Yet and still, we see white male suspects and/or convicted offenders thrive. 
We see white women write bestselling books then be glorified, hailed, and crowned.

Please be consistent in criticisms of abusive persons. At the same time, recognize that our society is not fair and just. When you behave as if it is, you do more harm than good. 

5.       Confusion 
We must learn the difference between childhood exploration and child abuse. There is a difference.  Feel free to click these links to gain more understanding.

6.  Lack of Empathy Whether or not the behavior is childhood exploration or child abuse, we must also empathize with the child who is silenced. 
The victimized child will now have a far more difficult time developing positive self-esteem and assertiveness skills. 
About every three months I see women gather on social media around discussions involving street harassment.  The stories are awful. Horrific. Chilling.

I just wonder, if some of these women who can’t seem to empathize with child victims of children who perpetrate sexual violence, can just imagine one thing.  
 Imagine that you couldn’t fully care for yourself.  Now, imagine that the person who was responsible for caring for you was one of those street harassers. You will be alone with that evil for hours and there is nothing that you can do about it. 
Your home just became scarier than the street.

Yes, that is the level of terror that a child feels when they must endure being taken care of by their harasser. 
Call it what you will, child exploration or child sexual abuse. 
WE who Survived it call it, The Hell.

All victims and Survivors of violence deserve empathy no matter how famous the person who abused them happens to be. 

WE deserve justice no matter what gender the abuser happens to be.  
WE deserve to be heard no matter how talented the abuser happens to be. 

People, this is not child’s play.  
WE have work to do. 

Tonya GJ Prince
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Tonya GJ Prince

Tonya is a Social Justice Info Expert with over 23 years experience. She holds a BS in Organizational Management & Development. Her cat MiaBelle is her co-writer.
Tonya GJ Prince
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Post Author: Tonya GJ Prince

Tonya is a Social Justice Info Expert with over 23 years experience. She holds a BS in Organizational Management & Development. Her cat MiaBelle is her co-writer.
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