The Great Submission Hoax

Imagine being in a room of, I don’t know, 30-50 people, and you hear this:   “Oh my goodness, that sounds sooo hard. What do you think we should do about this?”  No, it wasn’t something dirty. But then again….. I don’t know.  I’m still messed up about it. We were doing dirty work. Social justice work […]

The Dirty Truth about Celeb Men in the Media Coming to the Rescue

Something weird is going on. Here lately, every time that beautiful young women get into a feud white and/or black men come swooping out of nowhere to speak on the issues as if they are experts. Piers Morgan just decided to just call out Black Twitter.  That’s fine.  Free social media platform. The thing about […]

Tellin Ya Something Good Tuesday: Stop It Now Prevention Tools

Tellin Ya Something Good Tuesday: Stop It Now Prevention Tools

Featured Resource:  Stop It Now is one of my favorite resources for parents, teachers, caretakers-everybody! I am devoting this post to their library of Prevention Tools.  You must check it out.  They have printable tip sheets for families, daycare safety, warning signs, and talking tips. They also offer guidebooks. Please stop by.  Bookmark this page. […]

What a Difference a Voice Makes

I am the most talkative of my mother’s three children.  I think that is how I began to write.  Part enjoyment, but yeah, part necessity.   I was wearing people out.   But it wasn’t until the age of 19/20 that I came into my voice. I remember looking at Marilyn Van Derbur’s professional headshot […]

World Wide Roundup of This Week's Best Online Content Related to Rape & Abuse

World Wide Roundup of This Week’s Best Online Content Related to Rape & Abuse

Come under the Light The Sex Abuse to Prison Pipeline: How Girls of Color are Unjustly Arrested and Incarcerated Why Aren’t More Crisis Hotlines Offering Chat-Based Help? New Tool Will Soon Be Available Aimed At Helping Parents of Sexually Abused Kids Empathy is Actually a Choice Health and Wellness 10 Ways to Take Care of Ourselves […]

6 Quotes to Refill Survivors When Society Drains Us

I was so drained this weekend.  But it is going to be alright. All of this fragmented knowledge about sexual violence is wearing me out! As the beloved old folks around my way used to say, “Look at you, all loud and wrong.”  And that meant they were through entertaining your foolishness.  Listen, if you […]

My Mama said Keep Slaying these Dragons

My Mama said Keep Slaying these Dragons

Y’all my Mom wrote me a permission slip this morning.     It means the entire world to me. This afternoon during my reflection time, I felt the full value of her words.   My mother read my most recent blog posts and she said to me, “You keep slaying those dragons.  There are still more […]

4 Critical Takeaways from the Bill Cosby Tragedy for Celeb Pals, Fans, & the Public

So celebrities are still throwing their vocal public support behind accused rapists and child sexual abusers, hunh?     Barbra Walters (Woody Allen), Les Brown, Jill Scott, Ben Vereen, Phylicia Rashad, etc. Update: I had left out Whoopi Goldberg.  Well, I went back and forth but initially I decided that since she gets paid to give […]

President Obama, Vice-President Biden, & Dept. of Education: New Actions to Address Sexual Violence on Campus

New Measures to Combat Sexual Violence College campuses should be safe places where all students are free to focus on the joy of learning, forge lasting friendships, and explore the interests that lead to lifelong callings and careers. Even one sexual assault at our nation’s colleges and universities is too many. This is an issue […]

Letter from an Angry Survivor of Sexual Violence about this Bill Cosby Tragedy

Tonight I am angry.  That isn’t my default setting though.  Usually, I smile so much that I have to consciously tell myself not to do it.  That ain’t happening today. For the past 2 years or so I have heard you loud and clear. You didn’t believe all those women when they said that they […]

The Hideous Scars of Child Sexual Abuse: Self Doubt

The Hideous Scars of Child Sexual Abuse: Self Doubt

Self-doubt.  I think that one reason that some people can’t understand sexual violence is they don’t understand just how complicated it really is.   Some people think that after the physical assault, you should be emotionally hurt for a bit maybe.  But you’ll be fine, or rather you should be.   But WE know that sexual […]

The Good, The Bad, or The Child Molester

30 years ago a sad, lonely, depressed, fragile 13-year old girl announced to a living room holding a few of her closest relatives  in it that she was molested by two people.  Actually it was three, but since the first one was a teenager she didn’t know that he counted as well.  That 13-year-old was me.  […]

How to Protect Kids from Sexual Abuse This Summer

How to Protect Kids from Sexual Abuse This Summer

I know.  This time of year the kids are here, there, and everywhere. No school means they have a lot of time on their hands. Mama can we go…..?  Dad can we go……? I don’t mean to terrify you even more than you already are but…. Here are the bigger questions? Is your child going […]

Safety for Undocumented Victims of Abuse

From: www.domesticshelters.orgDomestic violence is a crime no one is immune to. No matter a person’s class, status or background, abuse still chooses a victim every nine seconds in the U.S. And when that victim is an illegal immigrant, they often think they have nowhere to turn. Afraid of deportation, they stay silent, enduring the violence regardless […]

Why domestic violence advocates say the best way to help survivors is to give them back control

Why domestic violence advocates say the best way to help survivors is to give them back control

Abusers control. That’s their No. 1 tactic to keep domestic abuse survivors simultaneously afraid of them and yet reluctant to leave them. Be it controlling a survivor’s ability to go places, hold a job or access money, see friends or family, keep their children, what sexual decisions to make, or, by using some other form […]

The Right to Die of Suicide from Mental Suffering

Yesterday there was a discussion on a social media page that I follow.  Suicide. That’s what we were discussing. There was this one guy who was leaning in on the point  that suicide is an option for some.  He seemed to assert that for some the pain is so great that is a valid option. […]

What No One Tells You About Spanking And Sexual Abuse

So, I met this beautiful woman, Delores.You know she is the only person I have ever come across who hates trees.Who hates trees?Well to her, trees represent pain.When she was a little girl if she did something wrong there was a penalty.  She had to go out into the yard and pull off a skinny […]

The Truth About Child’s Play and Child Sexual Abuse

Before I typed this, I stared at the blinking cursor for quite some time. A whole lot longer than it usually takes me. I still can’t believe how hard it is to talk about. As difficult as child sexual abuse is to talk about, I have to admit that it is easier when the person who […]

Mail Order Domestic Violence

(revised from original post 7/1/15) After the RiceLila married Jack. Things were fairy tale for a long time. And then the abuse started. Then it stopped. Then it never stopped. Lila Lila was gorgeous. In a way that was genuinely unforgettable. Meet her one time and you would remember both her name and face forever. […]

Who is Hosting the 2015 Awards Ceremony for Rapists and Abusers

Oh come on.  Surely someone must be.  I mean with all of these defenders there has to be.Just this week yet another high profile celebrity apologized for abusing “underage” girls.  (PR speak for kids.)And there it was. Right on time.  The swift embrace of child sexual abusers.Picture the biblical story of the Prodigal son. When rapists […]

WE Survive Abuse
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